INVISIBLE GURU FORUM

.....or, "Learning to Flirt with the Spinning Skirt of the Event Horizon of the Supermassive Black Hole at the Center of the Self"

So, I'm gonna just spew stuff here as it emerges into awareness/experience....hopefully pinned down as it revolves around the only centralizing thing that exists:  The ineffable black hole of The Truth.  Moderators?  Moderate! 

So black holes.....their "nature".....the presumed characteristics of them from scientific perspective...has just popped up almost incessantly for me of late....the last several years.  It's almost a preoccupation learning about them.....without, of course, the depth of attention to really understand anything from a physics point of view....but, then again, driven by this compulsive something to read about them from the lay perspective....and to try to tie those learned about characteristics to this personal exploration of the self....this nagging inkling/hunch....this reaching inward into the dark....this trying to see "through"....this need to loosen the perceived bonds of seemingly routinary exprience of day to day life....the daily dream.  I know its a dream, composed of layers of colored smoke.  I've gazed at it, eyes open and wide awake and seen the presumed solidity dissolve into a translucent construct seemingly composed of melded beads of glass....with this omnipresent glow of clear light shining through.  I know its a dream.....and that, being a dream that ultimately has no hands to grip with, can be gently let go of to at least enhance the sense of intensity, energy, awe, joy (yeah....I said it ) thats available in the appreciation of this "world" and its "reality".  You know.....Human Adult stuff.  Enough awareness of the empty center that dispels fear and opens up a "world of opportunity" in this stable dreamed reality.  There's also the possibility of delving further into the pleuripotential empty center more deeply.....gently closer to the event horizon, without spilling over to be lost (found) forever from the discernible "self" perspective and the dreamstate which provides the forum for its existencde.  More awareness of the empty center, perhaps, opens up the possibility of sheer flexibility of dreaming.  Infinite Games type stuff, as Jed has mentioned before somewhere.  Multiple dreams.....strange and interesting options which, perhaps, can be experienced with a sense of pure immersion such as is inherent in this dreamed "reality"  Thing is.....the ego and its compulsive clinging/aversion which helps it to survive.....must be loosened.  Too much ego in those states, while being unmoored from the stability of a single dream....could lead to spiraling off into compulsive fear-driven hellish nightmares which *shudder*....I don't want to think about for too long.  I've tasted some of THAT....and.....*gulp*....no thanks, I don't have the stomach for it.

Anyways, sry...I'm spinning off into rhetorical speculation again.  It's a very interesting, though, the synchronicity of this emerging fascination with black holes and, specifically, supermassive black holes at the center of every galaxy....and then, as with many others, I get this e-mail, out of the blue, re Jed's most recent rant.....and then, off-handedly pick up Jed's most recent book, Dreamstate....and flip to the page about Eden and being ejected into the dream state from the void with the flaming sword protecting against the event horizon revolving around that very real/unreal black hole at the center of the self. 

That's why I'm here, I can only guess. I had no intention of coming back, thinking I don't have that drive or stability to ever find and stabilize in Enlightenment....or to even find and stabilize into Human Adulthood.
 So, why waste anyone's time here....Jed, and your more disciplined students?  And yet, there's this nagging compulsion to explore this relationship with the void that I can't shake....in spite of my compulsive, fear/pleasure aversion/grasping indulgence in the blessing/curse ridden dream of daily life.  What I've seen is that.....this dreaming existence.....gets more incredible/awesome/joyful/intense....the more aware of/closer to my empty, self-less center.  If this place helps me find more of THAT.....then I'm in, whole-heartedly

Oh man.....my bad!  Sry, I can be a noisy boor when excited. 

Yes, brevity is best....for you.....for me....for all.  And, speaking of which, looks like this one over-extends the 1 post per day limit (if it even gets approved).  So.....once a day.....short and sweet.  Got it  

Thanks again, kind sir

Ah jeez.....I remember this, now.  Wow, that didn't take long.  It's amazing how the ambient tone of a place, like a forum, shifts ones intent all by itself. And that's just it...the intent of this place pressuring to kind of withdraw and cultivate this perennial overriding view, all day long, observing myself and the things I do and the things I think....all happening all by itself, driven forward.  The script.....the act.  There's lots of ugliness there/here I'd rather not see...particularly in the context of the appearance of the seeming impotence to change anything.  Just observe the moving machinery.  Gotta remember compassion...no self judgment.  Uh oh!....speaking of which.  Is there a word counter.  I wond...

Got it, thanks for sharing.

Love ya, Jed.         

Thanks for sharing.

Love ya, Jed.

Thanks kindly for your heartfull sharing.

There is no fixing you, you are beyond hope, hopelessly hopeless but hey, so is everyone else so it's not that bad and you ain't alone. ''I am addicted'' is just a identity, a story that has nothing to do with you. It's something you body carries with it. Your addiction has morphed and you are now addicted to being addicted, and then it will change into addicted to being addicted to being addicted.

If I has to live like that I would be damn sure to make friends with my addiction, it needs loving attention and care. I am mildly addicted to oxygen so I made a study of how to get the proper amount of the right stuff and one can get pretty high on that s h i t. That brings me to the question ... do you have my breathing tape. Oxygen is in plentiful supply and to date, it is still legal. But you never know when those self-righteous authorities are going to go all NWO on it.

Love ya, Jed.

P.S. Oh yeh, my other suggestion is do Iboga.

Addiction, the door to wisdom. Make a good book title.

Love ya, Jed

hmmm........