Hi Sergey:
Welcome to the forum. Don't worry about your English. Just say it as you feel.
2.) You don't make any decisions anyways, but you are not yet in a position to realize this. In addition, your expectations are a large source of grief and anxiety. Set up, followed by up set.
3.) Man-adult is called H/A (human adult). The best way is to look around you and you will see the exactly opposite of H/A. It's about growing up and not acting like a child.
Talk later,
Love ya, Jed.