Post It Note #27
This morning I noticed my first thought is what really 'woke me up'. 'You need to think about this and worry about it' was the general message. I realise this is why I have been sleeping so badly. As soon as a thought arises with sufficient volume, I attach to it and it awakens me from one slumber into another.
I am seeing more and more thoughts of 'this needs doing, that needs doing'. I already know they will get done when they get done. I also notice doing one thing whilst thoughts appear about doing something else. I can see the pointless anguish this brings.
I've had faith, for a few years now, to just allow myself to say what needs to be said without thinking about it, noticing the ease with which this happens. There's always been a feeling of just listening to the words come out. If anything doesn't hold true, it arises as a feeling within me. No other function appears to be any different.
This stage seems to be about breaking habits and recognising myself. Validating and re-validating insights through non-attached observation without re-articulating through thought. That seems to empower thought. I sense this will undermine the habit so it loosens its grip. I remain open to further insights.
I've wasted so much energy, 'investing' it in thinking. No wonder I've been so tired.
I hope to see more of myself.