I came across your first book some years ago and it immediately struck a chord. Disconcerting, sure, but it laid bare the implications of embarking on the journey and I found that helpful and honest.
I appear to be in a process which has its own momentum; I couldn't stop even if I wanted to. There are regular feelings of anxiety and inability to associate with other people on a typical human level. Although I greatly prefer my own company, that doesn't stop interaction and I go about my business using feelings as opportunities for enquiry.
In terms of my current co-ordinates, I have become very conscious of a perceived me laying in awareness which seems to obfuscate what is experienced, the characteristics of which I would describe as a bundle of feelings associated with vague images of a physical self. I remain attached to that mental morass but continue to prod and poke and test and question.
I have become very aware, too, of the dreams and stories which play out in others. They are easier to observe. I am finding that the insidious need to be right acts as the main life support for my story. It's a slippery and sneaky thing which requires all my attention to watch its true nature. I use what I'd best describe as honesty as a means of removing the personal justifications (its food) and allow it to be challenged.
Physically, my body is becoming more vague with a looser apparent boundary. Feelings and sensations, including pain, seem to arise and be there rather than attributed to any absolute location in my body. Curiously, as intellectually I know it not to be real, the reflection in a mirror still has the effect of re-inforcing bodily identification.
As I see the challenge(s), ultimately there's not much to do but my apparent difficuly lies in sharpening attention and turning the finger to point in the opposite direction.
No questions, no mystical experiences and no lurking. Just pushing a pin into the map.
Word count 342. Sorry.