Post It Note #21
I notice suffocating thoughts of my 'life situation' interfering and pulling me in. It's a seething mix of guilt, fear, helplessness, self pity, responsibility and shame; denial of what is. It projects scenarios and emotions, full ifs buts and maybes. I notice habits and patterns resurfacing. I notice the trust and belief in myself wane. I become the problem. I notice it not wanting to be looked at, pushing itself into a dark corner to hide.
I also sense it as an opportunity. I need to immerse fully and pick at it, like the weeping sore it is. It cannot be pacified, it needs to be ripped out.
Writing is helping the confrontation and provides a degree of clarity.