Author Topic: Adult-hood...or Done-hood.....fork in the road  (Read 2931 times)

bone_gravy

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Re: Adult-hood...or Done-hood.....fork in the road
« Reply #180 on: October 03, 2014, 01:17:42 pm »
Impactite back pocket pain in the butt. 

Today, in serendipitious series of events (intriguing unfolding) a potential job opportunity cropped up down in the ER.  I have a rapport with those peeps because I do a bunch of consult work down there with patients who have acute airway obstruction, tonsillar abscesses, head and neck cancer with acute associated issues, nose bleeds..that kind of thing.  Since I"m the consult PA, I have more time to devote to these various issues than the residents on our service, who are focusing their education on surgery so they can get out there and do their thing with  their academic or private practices when they graduate.  Nobody wants to do consults (especially ER consults)..which is why they hired me...to do the grunt work, so to speak.

Now, some openings have come up in the ER for "mid-level practitioners"....which are nurse practitioners (NP's) and physician assistants (PA's).  I'm considering.  Question is...which is best for Further?  Does it even matter?  Not ultimately...but in the interim?  I don't know!  Down there would be more variety/intensity...more ****, blood, vomit, spit...and more highly focused management over broad range of issues.  Also...better circumstances within which to acutely manage whatever crops up and then "drop it" when that patient gets admitted to whatever specialty needs to deal with it...or goes home after acute care has been given.  i.e. you just deal with whatever's in your face, down there...and then drop it to move on to the next thing when that issue has been dealt with.  Bam, bam, bam, bam...one right after another until shift is over....then go home without another thought about whoever/whatever you saw apart from inner debriefing to perhaps improve ability to handle similar situations later when they crop up. 

My current job has perks, too...with respect to Further.  As consult PA, I'm pretty much on my own....seeing patients wherever throughout hospital and then reporting to supervising physician when their advanced expertise is needed.  There's the "known" element....in that I know ENT and typically see familiar scenarios over and over again...so don't get blind-sided too often.  But maybe getting blind-sided is a good thing?  When learning detachment and flow?  I don't know! 

Interesting options.  And, can't deny how things cropped up in terms of the job offer itself today.  I won't go into details (jabbered on long enough) but timing and alignment played a part.  Bottom line is, I'm going to interview, methinks....see what emerges.  I confess I don't have impeccable feel for "what's indicated" just yet...though I think that aspect is getting better.....even since I've been here.


bone_gravy

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Re: Adult-hood...or Done-hood.....fork in the road
« Reply #181 on: October 03, 2014, 09:29:14 pm »
Every time I feel the subtle pressure of the impactite, it reminds me to shed the hair shirt....drop and release/surrender....opening awareness through and out of impacted MM, held in place with self reflective thoughts.  The sudden spilling into ambient awareness is always a relief....a sudden moment of clarity as to why I'm doing what I'm doing....and gratitude for the simplicity of it.

Insights regarding the grip session of the impactite.  Those hang ups which I've gripped long and hard for decades and decades.....are the ones that, even though open my hand to drop them, may leave a slowly to disperse imprint in the flesh for a little while...but the imprint...the emotional echo....will diminish if I can withstand the compulsion to grip it again.

bone_gravy

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Re: Adult-hood...or Done-hood.....fork in the road
« Reply #182 on: October 04, 2014, 08:18:28 am »
Pressure of impactite back in front pocket.  I'm aware of subtle, progressive displacement of central intent away from the core issue...the root.   It happens in the mind and its sneaky capacity to mimic awareness via thinking thoughts about being aware.  They are very subtle and truly seem like awareness itself....but it is not.  It's little wavelets of thought-induced distortion that enshroud pure awareness.  Hard to describe, but I see it...I see me being led away from central clarity...from job #1.  *gently presses lump in jeans pocket*

bone_gravy

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Re: Adult-hood...or Done-hood.....fork in the road
« Reply #183 on: October 04, 2014, 09:33:58 am »
Observing how different aspects of self inquiry redirect awareness centrally in subtly different ways....."I am alone"......"Who am I?"  They are very effective in herding stray cats, so to speak.  Thoughts that probe outward into the dream which try to diversify the sense of self....confusing the issue via complicated enmeshing thoughts. These questions resorb those probes almost instantly

bone_gravy

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Re: Adult-hood...or Done-hood.....fork in the road
« Reply #184 on: October 06, 2014, 09:29:09 am »
Game over

thanks for everything Jed

BeeG out

Jed McKenna

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Re: Adult-hood...or Done-hood.....fork in the road
« Reply #185 on: October 06, 2014, 09:38:20 am »
Via con Dios amigo.

Love ya, Jed.