Hi Jed,
From the time I was a young teenager I’ve been obsessed with self-help books about almost anything (except knitting I guess). As I got older I went to university, got a PhD in sciences and worked in a large pharmaceutical company for the next 12 years until the company shut down about 1.5 years ago.
The last few years at the company where hell for me. I was totally sick of the 9-5 mindless rat race, being told what I can and cannot do from people I had stopped respecting, no vision or focus, I was basically prostituting myself for the money, living for the weekends and for vacations. I was probably going to suffer a heart attack… so I planned my escape from this soul-sucking environment that I had once called a career … but luckily the company shut down instead.
Here’s a list of some of the writings and authors that have had an impact on my beliefs (in no particular order): Butterflies Are Free To Fly, Sadhguru, The Secret, some Robert Scheinfeld, The Power of Now, trying to conceptualize quantum mechanics and Jed McKenna’s of course. I have a conceptual understanding that goes like this: all beliefs are attachments to the ego and based in fear. Judgements and emotions occurring day to day are pointers to those beliefs… my happiness and suffering are dependent on these beliefs...
The one question I’m really struggling with, now for 3-5 years, is “what do I really want?” I simply don’t know what I want. I already have the house, car, kids, wife, exotic vacations, hobbies, electronic toys, etc. I have tried, through the process of writing, to figure out what I truly want but I keep coming up empty handed. It seems there's nothing that I want. Yet, I'm ready these spirituality books... I can't figure it out.
AJ