Member Posts > Member Posts

back to 0

(1/3) > >>

Exis:
i'm starting to get the picture that this whole "enlightment" path thing is in itself contradictory and a trap, at the same time true? i'm lost. I seemed to have had a breakthrough but it's always good to get the **** kicked out of you, makes you remenber why this has like a bajillion schools of thought. Honesty is what counts, I can see that my past and opnions are all bullshit with no actual merit, but at the same time i can't help but ocassionaly get trigged and go like "I know it’s a lie but it shouldn't be this easy, can I truly reject this suffering?" it feels like I’m being a coward. Oddly enough i'm not really suffering, this thing is not even freaking mine, this is like a debate about nothing going towards no one because it cannot convince itself that it is no one. there is always a position that needs defending "you shouldn't believe your story, you SHOULD believe in your story, not believing in your story is a story" blargh.there's this backstory that is supposed to be about avoiding suffering, but even avoiding suffering is a part of the game. ****!THIS IS RIGGED!

Exis:
Sometimes feels like life is like it used to be, there's me, my family, look the sky, people, matter, science and what not. And others it's like i'm in the middle of nowhere not knowing what is what, going back and foward from a "dream". If this whole maya thing is true she has me by the non-conceptual balls. There is a need for clarity, a need of "phew, okay, i get it" but i'm starting to get tired, not mad, bored...and **** mad as well actually. what the hell is going on? This "truth" seems fake because it's too good to be true, but it's real as hell, which is it? if there is comfort there's illusion right? I don't know, what am I supposed to do next?

Jed McKenna:
Hi there:

You are not supposed to do anything, in Truth ''you'' have never done anything anyways. But there is an appearance and you can also appear to do what arises next, just remember, it's all a dream... everything... until you wake up. What happens when you wake up from a night dream. The parallels are quite amazing.

Love ya, Jed

Exis:
Yeah, i like the dream analogy when it suits me, it's easy to forget about pain and misery of the past when you are detached from it, but that is more cowardly than anything, we don't live in dreamland we live in "dream land", after you wake up you go back to sleep. "it's all a dream" won't stop me getting stabbed or my money stolen(something every dreamer needs), or making my "imaginary" scars heal.
yes I get that nothing matters, it's all empty, no purpose, no true grounds, no right or wrong, but this dream analogy acts like it knows everything when that is in itself a belief "all beliefs are false", or do you actually know why there is anything at all or what happens after death? 100% no doubt?

I just want honesty, that's all

Jed McKenna:
If you want honesty, start with yourself. Stop pretending you are a human. Stop pretending that it matters if you are stabbed or robbed... I know what I know for me, and you need to find out what you ''know'' for you. There is only one thing that can be known for sure, but that's my story. Find you story... just never believe it because anything you can experience is not real. It has a beginning and an end. Find out what doesn't have a beginning and an end.

Love ya, Jed.

Navigation

[0] Message Index

[#] Next page