Before i had faith in the process. Things ahead looked dark really dark but i believed there was light after. Now i dont see anything. Id rather just stay here in this hell forever because what is further i cant even imagine.
I just dont know that it is going to end well for me in case. I feel like i am lost in my own hell. How can there be further than here? WHERE , in what direction, its impossible, impossible.
What is the end of this? What could possibly end it? But death, like dying or suicide.
I other words, i am a **** and i am stalling.
Because... I did nothing. I haven't changed, im still of fear, im still the same person that i was at start. I feel like I faked the whole thing, hurt all those people and myself to do what? So am i doing something wrong or is this normal? Im beginning to doubt EVERYTHING about this quest. Everything about my so-called honesty and war-waging and .... Im not sure any of this even exists.