Author Topic: Breezer  (Read 1243 times)

bree

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Re: Breezer
« Reply #15 on: June 19, 2017, 08:36:19 am »
who ? (who lala ;D).

I'm punching out wisdom these days. My wisdom is a song that soothes me, doesn't really matter how "others" take it. Sometimes I rationalise it to make sense, for my own sake. Most of the times I wonder why there are no thoughts left. I kind of get focussed whenever there is a need, and don't think much otherwise. I respond when asked to. I don't crave for unnecessary recognition, I sit and relax and do my job. Acceptance is as it is. No conditions. BUT I don't donate to beggar characters too. Morality is an amusing game. Watching the play and becoming that actor.

Well, what next ? Throw a bone at me Jed messiah ! Come let's play ! 8)


Jed McKenna

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Re: Breezer
« Reply #16 on: June 19, 2017, 09:09:33 am »
What specifically has caused you to set rules for relating to beggars? Do you not just watch and see what happens? I never know until it appears as done, then all I know is what appeared, giving or not giving. It's quite interesting.

Love ya, Jed.

bree

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Re: Breezer
« Reply #17 on: June 19, 2017, 12:44:23 pm »
With beggars, there is a feeling of an overwhelming sense of duty and responsibility. The feelings of guilt, sadness envelop when I do not give them their rightful share. Could there be no beggars? I wonder.

The country has a huge population of beggars. Some sell the stuff I don't want and try pity to coax me to donate. Some demand to donate. Some claim their right to take my money - because they are transsexual & as if the society I live in caused them to beg. Well, not really sure if there is an end to donate or not to donate. It feels good to donate and become lighter.  :)

It's a big society and a democratic country. While charity was a good thing, somehow, it's a blame game. But I feel guilty even when I ignore the beggars and don't give them the little I have. It is not going to last forever.

Recently I went to a VR gaming zone. I wore oculus , strapped up the headphones and dived right into the immersive experience. For a few moments my brain was convinced that it was falling from a great height. It was awesome. Before I wore those VR settings, I could sneak peak outside. I remembered something in the lines of tearing the magic carpet - sneak peeking the reality.  8)

Boy, I really need to focus ! One perspective is all I have ~ what's the worse that can happen ? Death ~ duh ! No living being has seen death.

----UPDATE----
Met fund collectors today - this one is related to charity. They were saying good things and giving blessings to collect funds. At the end, one of them requested to go to ATM to withdraw money to give them and tied a thread to my hand. What's that mean ?
 
« Last Edit: June 19, 2017, 10:22:32 pm by bree »

Jed McKenna

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Re: Breezer
« Reply #18 on: June 20, 2017, 01:57:34 am »
It means anything you want it do mean.. and what's with all the blah, blah. Not very entertaining at all.

Love ya, Jed.

bree

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Re: Breezer
« Reply #19 on: June 20, 2017, 06:15:20 am »
Bah ..  that was an expression of the failure to erect an image / "me". There won't be an "I" whining voice had success happened. What's up with you?

It's funny that Jed Messiah can blah blah anything he wants - in books and his bree shouldn't. No fair !

Jed McKenna

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Re: Breezer
« Reply #20 on: June 20, 2017, 08:51:53 am »
Anyone can blah, blah all they want, but few realize the difference between the two primary division of speaking:
It's either and expression of love or a cry for attention.

Love ya, Jed.
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bree

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Re: Breezer
« Reply #21 on: June 22, 2017, 11:51:42 am »
Dear Jed,

Whatever I say is blah blah -  it is attention seeking, agree. My words don't carry much weight. I abused them alot to be honest. May be the key is to focus. The game I'm playing in the world doesn't have stakes. I don't really care whatever. I work for the sake of my own ego - living upto a certain impossible image. Just running in that rat race of being busy. I do it to protect myself - keep my importance in the world.

How to get back the focus ? Memento mori ? Remember i must die ? I will try my best to focus - being here on the present moment and tell you in my next post how that went. Thanks

Jed McKenna

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Re: Breezer
« Reply #22 on: June 22, 2017, 12:08:26 pm »
I suggest you closely examine who is protecting what,  and perhaps more important, what is the energetic cost of such a situation. How much efforting goes into it?  ??? ??? ???

Love ya, Jed.

bree

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Re: Breezer
« Reply #23 on: June 23, 2017, 06:23:16 am »
I BS'd you alot. I love you Jed.  :-*

I'm feeling stuck in the obscurity of my own thoughts. I don't know what Iam - if whatever I say it is not true. I want to cry out loud - till my heart breaks apart.  :(

bree

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Re: Breezer
« Reply #24 on: June 26, 2017, 01:06:40 pm »
Hi Jed,

Do you think having self-doubt - that freezes your moments - with fear is good for H/A or T/R ? I have some self doubt - may be I'm not good enough for the task - few negative affirmations that de-motivate.

Just that I'm anxious because of this self-doubts  never quite happily sure of myself , what Iam and who Iam. So, I have this imposter feeling whenever someone asks me to tell me about myself  - or worse , try to get to know my likes and dislikes. My mind is going blank these days and im feeling terribly anxious.

I'm trying to balance between two boats - taking opposite directions. One side it is "world - with a job , titles , etc" , other side is a journey of TR. When I need to hack away and burn the bridges, I'm focussing and worrying about building more bridges. I figuratively said my intentions. While my purpose is to dissolve the false images, I'm spending my energy in creating more images.

Further
« Last Edit: June 26, 2017, 01:13:49 pm by bree »

Jed McKenna

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Re: Breezer
« Reply #25 on: June 26, 2017, 11:18:37 pm »
What are you trying to say????


Love ya, Jed.

bree

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Re: Breezer
« Reply #26 on: June 27, 2017, 01:28:13 pm »
This is a thread where I can rant as much as possible until some meaning arrives  ;D ;D ;D

I kind of understood what I meant. Thanks for this platform :)

Jed McKenna

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Re: Breezer
« Reply #27 on: June 27, 2017, 11:39:53 pm »
My pleasure, and a little focus might help to reduce your avoidance of the real issue(s).

Love ya, Jed.

bree

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Re: Breezer
« Reply #28 on: July 01, 2017, 09:17:47 am »
I AGREE (in CAPS).

There is a lot of illusion. iam an illusion. I - the assumption that I exist is created for the sake of it. Lets not go there.
Iam talking to myself. There is no you. For you to exist I need to believe that this world to be true. Which in my opinion is not true - because I'm a fiction as well. This could be some n-dimensional movie / theatre.

Iam no where - no entity exists - in truest sense to get enlightened. If "I" have to get enlightened, "I" have to be created. The enlightenment stories are all good time pass.

That said, and done. If further, bring it on !

No enlightenment. Fine thank you, bye  8)


Jed McKenna

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Re: Breezer
« Reply #29 on: July 02, 2017, 01:27:54 am »
 ;) ;) ;)