All I know is that I've surrendered, and unwillingly at that. Circumstances forced me to and I'm all the better for it. Not sure if that that means I'm waking up from or within the dream state, but it is something significant. I'm still talking to you so that means there's some discontent in me to clarify something, but I don't know what. I've reread your books and feel like I am living a bit of what you speak of, but not all of it. I don't really see patterns I think, or think of myself as God, or see everything as unified. I guess what I do see what I thought of me as bullshit now (such as my thoughts and feelings), less labeling of other people (usually projections), and having more trust in the universe. I guess I wrote all this to say that I'm not sure Truth exists. I know that this body isn't me, this Earth isn't me, a lot of others isn't me, but as for Truth, what is it? What lasts infinitely? I don't know. Before all this I was chasing a state where I would do good with girls, I wrote my ass off, finding new clarifications and insights like a maniac, like your Spiritual Autolysis. Now, i think in my head a lot.