Author Topic: confused  (Read 5710 times)

phruitea

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Re: confused
« Reply #30 on: April 20, 2018, 10:43:13 pm »
The stage is the void you speak of in your books. The emptiness, the nothingness. That somehow takes the form on this body, the mountains, the planet itself, and returns to nothingness at death.

Jed McKenna

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Re: confused
« Reply #31 on: April 21, 2018, 04:49:05 am »
My experience... may or may not be yours. Find out for yourself.

Love ya, Jed.

phruitea

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Re: confused
« Reply #32 on: April 22, 2018, 11:01:54 pm »
All the answers to all the "Who am I?" questions are not me but my dream character right?

Jed McKenna

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Re: confused
« Reply #33 on: April 23, 2018, 12:56:53 am »
Whoa... what makes you think there is an answer? Look deeper... much deeper.

Love ya, Jed.

phruitea

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Re: confused
« Reply #34 on: April 24, 2018, 06:16:04 pm »
I'm still a child Jed. After writing down my wants and desires and exploring why I wanted them, I found out it was all to be noticed so that people will protect and save me. I thought I faced my death, but I still am acting like a child looking for his bottle. Me wanting money, sex and to lose weight are all fears I have that are a deeper fear of going unnoticed and being nothing to other people. What's so bad about being nothing to others? To being nobody? That there's no one else there to be with you, the loneliness. And with loneliness, there's nothing to do but to face the nothingness that is out there, that's right in front of us but we ignore in our little groups.

phruitea

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Re: confused
« Reply #35 on: April 25, 2018, 01:16:11 am »
I read the passage of Julie's transformation and I don't identify with them. I guess that makes me a Human Adult (in progress), so I guess I'm just picking at T/R but I don't really want it. I wonder why I don't want it, what attachment I have that's positive that makes the dream still worth dreaming. What I do want to realize is the N/D stuff, but maybe I'll never take that step. I don't know. Where do you see me in the progress of all of this Jed from your elevated perspective? I guess it doesn't matter, only to stay or go further, even though I don't have a clue where further is.
« Last Edit: April 25, 2018, 01:50:04 am by phruitea »

phruitea

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Re: confused
« Reply #36 on: April 25, 2018, 01:58:56 am »
The truth is I don't know where I am or where I'm headed. For some reason I keep coming back to your books and your forum because there's this little discontent in me searching for something but I don't know what. Is it meaning I"m looking for? Maybe approval? I think it must be the next island, further. I think at this stage I just need patience for the universe to reveal the next step, but then why am I talking to you instead of just going about my day? I think where I'm at is at the juncture where I can finally begin my spiritual journey since the catastrophe of my previous life have fallen and I've undone the unspiritual journey, maybe. I'm confused. Any directions would be nice.

Jed McKenna

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Re: confused
« Reply #37 on: April 25, 2018, 03:40:15 am »
Dear P;

Sorry, but clearing up confusion was not in my job description. I am actually in the job of creating more confusion.

I want my students to become so incredibly, over-the-top confused that they realize nothing is knowable... period... with one exception (that Truth Is)... and from that point of pinnacle-like confusion, I invite my students to give up... TOTALLY give up.. all their illusion, the dreams, their stories, their wants and not-wants, their accomplishments and their failures... it all boils down to give up their burdens, etc.

Either jumping or falling off the mountain of frustration and confusion into the peace that passes all understanding is next. Whether one jumps or falls doesn't matter because by the time they summit that mountain, they will realize they have no say in the matter, ''it'' will be doing ''them''...

Embrace your confusion, welcome it, even invite more... it will only lead you along if you allow it to... and then... poof!

Love ya, Jed.




phruitea

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Re: confused
« Reply #38 on: April 28, 2018, 04:18:15 am »
How can I trust that the input from the senses of this mansuit are true? Telling me I'm on this bed in this room. That this bed, table, is real? I don't really know how to disprove anything honestly. When my hand touches this laptop, there is a resistance defining the confines of this hand and laptop, telling me their separate. How do I go further than here, questioning my senses? Actually, I should go back and define what real and true means. Is abiding that only way to really define these terms? If so, then to me, when I leave the room, it doesn't exist anymore to my senses, so does that make it not abiding and thus not real?
« Last Edit: April 28, 2018, 04:25:59 am by phruitea »

Jed McKenna

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Re: confused
« Reply #39 on: April 28, 2018, 04:45:49 am »
Contemplate, what makes something real?

Cheers.

phruitea

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Re: confused
« Reply #40 on: April 29, 2018, 08:03:23 pm »
Nothing is real unless you make it so for yourself. I kind of cheated and googled the answer to your question and the Matrix quote popped up where Morpheus says "If real is what you feel, smell, taste and see, then 'real' is simply electrical signals interpreted by your brain." So pretty much everything to us are electrical signals, not what things really are. Even our perception is limited in terms of seeing and hearing and taste where other animals have much greater faculties of detection. Everything is filtered, not what it actually is. So mistaking the table is real is false, you just don't know, you're only seeing an illusion of what a true table is if there even is a table at all. What can't be an illusion or interpretation is just your existence I guess, that's what you mean by the "I am" being the only answer. It's weird that your body is an illusion.
« Last Edit: April 29, 2018, 10:06:53 pm by phruitea »

phruitea

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Re: confused
« Reply #41 on: April 29, 2018, 11:20:54 pm »
So knowing that only "I am", that I cannot trust my senses or mind to display the true reality of things, how I distinguish things from one another is false. But that doesn't mean that their connected by default then, or is it? I guess that's why you call it "non-dual" instead of unity awareness. Though in your books you go on to talk about the interconnectedness of things, and that I don't get yet. How the I isn't separate but everything, along with the gateless gate. Oh well.
« Last Edit: April 29, 2018, 11:50:53 pm by phruitea »

Jed McKenna

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Re: confused
« Reply #42 on: April 30, 2018, 01:38:16 am »
What is everything that arises actually appearing in?

Love ya, Jed.

P.S. Everything means everything.

phruitea

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Re: confused
« Reply #43 on: April 30, 2018, 08:28:58 am »
The mind.
« Last Edit: April 30, 2018, 07:37:35 pm by phruitea »

Jed McKenna

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Re: confused
« Reply #44 on: May 01, 2018, 03:10:23 am »
What's that?  ??? ??? ???