I think I still am just doing things to avoid feeling a certain way and being responsible. I'm awaiting for something to make decisions for me, like leaving it into God's hand to decide my future. I trust little in myself anymore. This is kind of where I'm at right now. My main question I ask myself is "How do I escape this?" So I guess the next question should be "What am I running from?" Fear? Emptiness? I'm not quite sure. And also, I just realized, are peace and emptiness equivalent to you?