I think I have repressed a lot of things in concern what will happen when they're let out. My thoughts betray me, I think I lie to myself a lot. I really need to write things out I think because when I do it's starkly different to what I'm thinking. I feel like I'm just being repetitive like journaling not like Spiritual Autolysis like you mention. I feel like I don't know myself anymore with all this bs I put up to fit in with other people. And I can't stop it. What will put me over the edge Jed? I feel like I'm more dramatic than other people because I have to hide it all and although there's nothing on the outside there's an internal mess.