I thought I knew the Truth. There are an incredible number of things that are false about the previous sentence alone. The most important of which is that there is a difference between knowing the path and walking the path, to quote Morpheus. After painstaking hours, months and a year of reading, writing, revising, condensing, and dismantling, I reached a point where I knew I Am Consciousness. Consciousness is a funny word, because it gets wrapped up with mind and my consciousness or your consciousness. I knew I Am Cosmic Spirit. The one truth thing from which all things manifest. Brahman. The Nuomenon. The Absolute. The Ultimate. The All. What have you. Ask me who I am. I am that. I am.
So why didn't I feel it? Why don't I feel it....I should say. There I go with should and shouldnt my self. Past is the past. Why dont I feel it now, this very moment? Because "I" "know" the truth. Which is just a fancy, stuck up, egotistical way of saying, Ego knows what it will kill it, thus it is avoiding it, because it knows it.
Ego knows the path and that it why ego is not walking the path. Ego knows where it leads. To its own demise. It is avoiding it for that very reason. Knowing Truth (Egoic Knowledge) is not Being Truth.
This all just hit me today. And for the 1st time since I began reading the trilogy just over a year ago, I understand Un-Truth Un-Realization. Enlightenment is not about dis-covering the Truth. Ironically that is the easy part. That which cannot be simpler. Un-dis-covering, un-learning, un-knowing, un-believing, all the false crap I believe, and think I know on a daily basis that affects my moods, my thoughts, my feelings.....wow that it alot of my's!...that affect mood, thought, feeling, all of which themselves are equally false mind you! That is where the hard work really lies.
As these words are being typed, Incorrect, is begin to become clearer...clearing out the clutter. The fakeness. The phonyness. I am know who I thought I am, even though what I am is that all that there truly is. I approached SA like a logician, dealing only with the external world. Space, Time, Energy, Matter, Physics, Objects, Relativity, Absolutism......the question is always the same....outside?....the answer....yes! Not-yes! Inside is where the battle really takes place. C knows that now. C-Rex! Not I. C!
Anyway....so it begins.