Author Topic: Doubts; Intelligence  (Read 2348 times)

Jed McKenna

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Re: Doubts; Intelligence
« Reply #30 on: April 04, 2017, 12:04:58 am »
Suffering equals drama equals novelty and the reason you came here out of sameness.

Of course there is a way out. There is only one who could suffer and that is ''you''. The joke is ... there is no ''you''. So, what does suffering do for ''you'', makes it bigger, stronger, more real... however, everything in a dream is just more dream... so dream on... until on day you wake up.

Love ya, Jed.

P.S. Good observations make you.

Escapist

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Re: Doubts; Intelligence
« Reply #31 on: April 04, 2017, 03:51:24 am »
I came here seeking for novelty in this dream, but then, the dream became a nightmare... I honestly don't get what kind of masochist I am to create such unpleasant and sad waking reality dream. Ironically, my sleeping dreams are so pleasant... this makes me think there may be something in this particular waking reality dream that is causing all this internal suffering, but I think that if I keep up with self enquiry, one day I will realise what it is that is sabotaging my waking reality dream and making it so painful.

So, about self-enquiry, what the heck is even I AM awareness? Is the I AM feeling/thought that feeling we get in our body when we say "I"? Or is observing the "I AM" the same thing as observing the body, thoughts, feelings and awareness?

Jed McKenna

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Re: Doubts; Intelligence
« Reply #32 on: April 04, 2017, 06:52:36 am »
A nightmare is just as novel as a love affair. In drama there is precious little difference... drama is drama. The real you, the level of Truth, knows no difference... it is eternal sameness. Of course there is something in this dream causing the internal suffering. You think there is a you. That is the cause of all suffering, not pain, but suffering.. big diff.

You came into this human experience when your sense of sell started to develop at about 2 years of age, those terrible twos are very real. You can walk out through this I am you created. Stick with it.

Love ya, Jed.

Escapist

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Re: Doubts; Intelligence
« Reply #33 on: April 04, 2017, 06:11:11 pm »
Looks like the brief "I AM" contemplation I did yesterday has showed some results. Today, thoughts and situations that would usually bring me melancholy or make me depressed didn't affect me that much.

Let me put an exemple here:

Before, I would look at a happy couple in the streets and think to myself: "Life is suffering. The fact that this guy has a girlfriend and lives a happy live is just a creation from casuality, he may be lucky and be able to mantain this happiness for the rest of his life... but for me... for me, life sucks so much! I never felt the heat of a woman, I never felt what it is like to be loved or to even to have a friend! My only hope of escaping this tormentation is by resetting mself and the world throught T/R... but even if I attained T/R, I would never be as happy as this guy is being right now! T/R would just relieve my suffering a little..."


Now, if the same thing happened, seeing a happy couple in the sreets, my reaction would be way less violent: The desire for the woman would still be there, but, all the melancholy, misery and nihilism associated with the fact that I'm a loser that never received human love in my life would appear in a way smaller degree, this way, the suffering would be lessened. I think that if I keep with the "I AM" contemplation, eventually, not only the misery, melnacholy and nihilism would disappear, but the desire for the woman would disappear too... and when this happens, I will be free from suffering.

It's so empowering the fact that I, alone, am responsible for the way I feel, even if I were the most miserable person in the world! Actually, having the power to control the way I feel is the greatest of the riches... before, I thought that not being affected by outside events would mean that I would be  just accepting misery and living on powerlessness and that would be a negative thing... but no! Not being affected by external events is true power!

By the way, **** Maslow's pyramid! People believe that **** without questioning it and then, if some element on the pyramid is lacking, they feel justified to feel sad... How retarded can society get?

Escapist

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Re: Doubts; Intelligence
« Reply #34 on: April 04, 2017, 06:40:17 pm »
Woah! More insights coming!

Now that the melancholy, nihilism, misery and all the **** that came togheter with identifying as a loser have diminished, my brother appeared and invited me to play soccer with his friends. This is surely strange... just a day after dropping part of my identifying as a loser, a chance of socializing appeared(this sort of thing happened to me like... once or twice in a year... if I was lucky).

And if we consider the fact that this wasn't a coincidence(it wasn't), then the equation is simple: Two forces existed inside me, the desire for relationships and the identification as a loser, when the latter was dropped, the force that was stopping me from having relationships with people was gone too, and then, only the desire for relationships remained, and thus, I attracted relationships.

Is my newest insight truthish in your personal experience, Jed?

Jed McKenna

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Re: Doubts; Intelligence
« Reply #35 on: April 05, 2017, 06:11:43 am »
More practical than Truthish, but if it works then work it. No a problem. Whilst working it, be as aware as you possible can.

Love ya, Jed.

Escapist

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Re: Doubts; Intelligence
« Reply #36 on: April 06, 2017, 02:43:37 pm »
So, yesterday, I came across ACIM and other related things(disappearance o the world)...

And, my conclusion, was that it was nothing but a trap; I liked all the forgiving aspects of the teachings and what they said about the world being an illusion made it seem legit at first, but, I absolutely hated the god above all fanaticism.

In disappearance of the world, they call god truth, but, how can something external to myself(god), something that can be perceived by the senses, be called truth?

They say god is freedom, but, I am not free to have other idols other than god? There are many egoic pleasures that brings me fun in this illusory world, but, they say I should drop all of those(all of those things that were part of the funniest days in my life), drop my ego(wich I love more than anything), to serve a god that I know nothing about?

Besides that, I've read about many cases of people having their life ruined, becoming crazy or assholes, and even suiciding because of this type of teaching. So, it's not only a trap, but unhealthy too.

So, Jed, what  is your opinion about ACIM and related things? Please, tell me there isn't a god that I'll have to follow blindly one day...
« Last Edit: April 06, 2017, 02:45:15 pm by Escapist »

Jed McKenna

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Re: Doubts; Intelligence
« Reply #37 on: April 07, 2017, 11:20:40 pm »
Dear Escapist:

Hmmm.... you seem to have hit a nerve, good on yah.

There is a saying that goes something like 'by their fruits they shall be known''. Do a little research on how many people have been murdered, maimed and fed a crap load of ridiculous guilt by other people who were devoted followers of a ''god'', and it doesn't matter much which ''god'' they follow.... the same inhumanity to others almost always has a hypocritical self-righteous religion behind it, and that religion may take a huge variety forms... I'm sure you can name a few. One of the curiosities some religions is that those who profess it always seem to want to ''share'' is with others. And some religions even believe that you don't have a soul if you don't follow their saint, savior or prophet and hence there is no guilt attached to doing you harm, even killing you.

The conventional believe in a ''god'' is, IMHO, the efforts of immature children desperately in need of/seeking a cause/reason for everything when none exist for anything. It's all just is... but that's totally unacceptable to an organization seeking to control it's flock. What on earth would be do without good and evil, Superman, Batman, Spiderman and Santa Claus?

If I have offended anyone, please keep in mind that only a lie, and illusion or a deceit could ever be offended. Truth is impossible to offend. It is what is and it's all that is... It requires no holy texts, no followers, no preachers, no forgiveness, no killing of infidels and non-believers, no sacrifice, not penance, no symbols, no prayer, BUT, having said that, an abundance of forgiveness is possibly the only ''religion'' one needs, if they so need.

If you have eyes to see you will see,
if you have ears to hear you will hear.

Love ya, Jed


Escapist

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Re: Doubts; Intelligence
« Reply #38 on: April 08, 2017, 11:17:00 am »
"What on earth would be do without good and evil, Superman, Batman, Spiderman and Santa Claus? " - 2017's best spiritual quote. How can anyone stand living without Spiderman? I get shivers just by thinking about this... kidding(or not).

Anyways, my "religion" for now on will be observing the "I AM" and whatever arises...

Jed McKenna

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Re: Doubts; Intelligence
« Reply #39 on: April 09, 2017, 12:17:30 am »
Sounds like an excellent plan to me.

Love ya, Jed.

Escapist

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Re: Doubts; Intelligence
« Reply #40 on: April 15, 2017, 01:20:24 pm »
You know what, Jed? I've been using spirituality to escape life, this is it! Life can be so unfair and cruel that the thought that there is some kind of higher power that will protect me from this world is surely attracting... but, it's all bullshit! The truth is that I can die at any moment, anything can happen with me... I am totally vulnerable and instead of stopping being a lazy ass and working for my own security and archieving my desires I just wait for a blessing to fall from the sky, like a homeless person living from begging.

I am not entitled to having money or sleeping under a roof
I am not entitled to having sex
I am not entitled to live a happy life
I am not entitled to live always with a smile in my face like those new agey guru middle aged women
I am not entitled to anything, not even receiving the fruits of hard work. Nor I'm not entitled to not receiving anything for doing nothing.
I am not entitled to be rewarded for doing good and being punished for doing evil.
If I died right now, I wouldn't be so mad... this is the way the game was set up.
The only thing I can do is to work on myself; become stronger physically, mentally and emotionally stronger, this way my chances are higher in this game... the law of the fittest prevails, again...

Life is filled with suffering, for sure... strenght is life, weakness is death.

The spell of happiness selling gurus has been broken; "change your thoughts, change your perspective and you will see the beauty of life!" said the bearded indian guru, the middle aged new agey woman and the bald wannabe wise zen master... Oh really? So tell me how the hell I change my thoughts your asses, because the last time I remember listening to your advice I decided to drop antidepressants and then 3 days later I was desiring death more than anything, and then after taking the pill again, all the "mind created" bad thoughts were gone... I was liking to live again! Idk but somehow it seems like you guys are bullshitting me!

And oh, I'll stop taking antidepressants again, not because of your wise words, but because life isn't supposed to be heavenly anyways...

It's all cope...
... all cope

This was my rant Jed, it wasn't directed to you in any way. Just expressing my feelings.
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Jed McKenna

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Re: Doubts; Intelligence
« Reply #41 on: April 16, 2017, 05:52:34 am »
Thank you for sharing. I have had many experience in the past were not to dissimilar to yours. They were in the long ago. I did, as does everyone, the best I could with what resources I had at the time.

I wish you the best.

Love ya, Jed


Escapist

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Re: Doubts; Intelligence
« Reply #42 on: April 19, 2017, 12:39:24 am »
I'm always feeling like I miss something or someone; I'm starting to think what I miss can't be found in other people. I feel like this world is not the real thing, that there must be a "better world", life just can't be about living on a shitty and gray world like this.

The night, the moon and the wind, those are the only good things in this world, yet, when I see them, I can't help but to feel nostalgic, or even depressed, because they are transient and the grayness of this world will eventually overtake them again.

This world is a calculated hell of happiness dryness, just like Buddha said, it's not too pleasurable or too painful. In my opinion it's just dry.

If this world is a dream, then, I wish to wake up.

Jed McKenna

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Re: Doubts; Intelligence
« Reply #43 on: April 19, 2017, 03:11:15 am »
Good luck with wishing. I found doing much more effective, even in this dream.

Now, what could you do  ??? ??? ??? ::) :P

Love ya, Jed.

Escapist

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Re: Doubts; Intelligence
« Reply #44 on: April 20, 2017, 08:10:39 pm »
Indeed... I am lazy as ****... I need to do more... this is it Jed.

So, recently I've read the book "The mind Illuminated" and then I decided to do what the book told me, but, being the lazy **** I am I couldn't even get past the first stage that is estabilishing a practice... but now this ends, I won't let laziness rule over me anymore; yesterday I've already meditated 1 hour, and I will do it again today and everyday.

Not only that, but after I came from work riding my bike for 10 miles, I decided to take a 6 miles walk; after 3 miles the pain started creeping in but, insted of walking slower or sitting on a bench to rest, I started running. It was a very satisfying run and even though I felt on the edge of having a hearth attack I kept running... and then I started walking again, but I was happy for what I did and the desire of competing on the next olympics appeared in me; something that would appear absurd to my previous self, but now I know it's possible even though I am obese and was never into sports. What are olympics in comparison to full blown enlightenment or even the bliss of the jhanas or the siddhis? Nothing, It's nothing. There are thousands of olympic champions but very few truly enlighttened people; if the olympics may seem impossible, then, what about enlightenement? I would never be able to reach it with the mentality of weakness.

Now, I will stop posting my worldly **** on this forum because posting isn't going to get things done  ;D