Author Topic: Doubts; Intelligence  (Read 2348 times)

Escapist

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Re: Doubts; Intelligence
« Reply #75 on: June 13, 2017, 12:23:56 pm »
Ok, I bought it.

The 4th option: a revolution against the supreme dictator, Maya.

Jed McKenna

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Re: Doubts; Intelligence
« Reply #76 on: June 13, 2017, 12:26:59 pm »
Good...

Now...further.

Love ya, Jed.

Escapist

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Re: Doubts; Intelligence
« Reply #77 on: June 18, 2017, 01:29:02 am »
Did about 1 and a half day of focusing on the "I am" sense, I remember that I got some good insights(or better saying, had realizations), but, most of them have been forgotten because I returned to the "mundane life", still, I feel like I've grown to be more mature; even though I can't remember those realizations clearly, the wisdom contained in them is still with me... well, partially, I mean.

"Why did you stop doing the contemplation then?", you may ask. The reasons for me stopping doing the contemplation were silly ones; fear and distraction:

- I am almost sure that I used a siddhi and that made me scared(fear);
- Got distracted by pleasurable feelings(distraction).

And now I'm going to start again with the "I am" contemplation because I'm feeling kinda sad for the fact that the guy that I used to talk with online managed to get a girlfriend; now I just don't identify with him anymore, we're from different worlds now and having a "loser" friend would just hold him back in whatever future interest he may have in life, so, I decided to stop talking to him before we fought because of my negative influence.

-------------------------------

Oh my freaking god. After typing the text above I went to a word counter website to see if my post had less than 200 words and guess what? It had 200 freaking words on it, EXACTLY. This is the first time I counted the words in my post and I got it right on the first try; 100% success rate, bitches. Ooops, now I ruined my perfect post by adding this part, ****

Jed McKenna

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Re: Doubts; Intelligence
« Reply #78 on: June 18, 2017, 03:46:30 am »
I forgive you, now can you forgive yourself.

Love ya, Jed

Escapist

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Re: Doubts; Intelligence
« Reply #79 on: June 25, 2017, 05:23:39 am »
Will contemplating the "I am" sense lead me to T/R or H/A first?

Escapist

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Re: Doubts; Intelligence
« Reply #80 on: Today at 12:15:30 am »
Had a final fight with my family; I consider this a blessing, now I am not bound by them anymore. Now I can go my entire life without talking to them without feeling the slightest guilty.


Now I'm going to quit my job and take a bus to a city that is about 500kms away from where I live now so that I won't risk becoming "friend" with my family again and end up going back to living with them because it's more confortable.


I already left my house in the middle of the night, taking with me only what's necessary, without anyone seeing. Now I'm in the center of the city, using free internet from a store just waiting for the sun to rise.
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