INVISIBLE GURU FORUM

I sit at home and relax into the feeling that nothing makes sense, everything is an illusion and I have feeling of calm the more I read. However, as soon as I engage in the "outside world" it all becomes real again, I feel anxiety, frustration, a sense of need for things to play out a certain way in order to feel at peace etc. I try to observe myself experiencing the feelings, but I feel I am overwhelmed by my ego. I suppose my question would be how do I continue to move forward towards H/A when the "external" appears to be constantly putting obstacles in front of me?

The assumption is false. There is no such thing as an obstacle it's false learned behaviour, but it's so deep rooted. The fear takes over and I become the character rather than the observer.

This is cool, thanks for replying. I think the fear is of losing my current circumstances that I believe provide me with comfort and an element of freedom, it's paradoxical because I feel trapped and uncomfortable by my need for those things and the fear of losing them. I ultimately want to be in a  place where I don't feel these feelings, where there is no wrong and right and the emotions attached to that, things just "are" and I'm ok with that. Not sure I'm making sense, but it feels good to type this stuff out.

You cling to, and argue for your present limitations, because as you said, ''feel trapped and uncomfortable by my need for those things and the fear of losing them.'' So, your clinging is bringing you misery. Can you see the silliness in this. Remember, emotions promise you will get by keeping, precisely what you get by losing them.

Contemplate that.. figure it out for yourself.

Love ya, Jed.

I suggest you make your problems as big as you possibly can. Go for it on one at a time and then go right through the middle.

Love ya, Jed.

Ah... yes... the old "then what?''. 

Well, what if ''then what'' was that you fell into an ever present and lasting sense of JOY!... well, then what? Would that be a terrible thing.

You can "then what" your (you know what off) and I'm just going to ''SO WHAT?" you back....

There, have I'"one upped" you? Ohhhhh... please confirm.

Love ya, Jed.

Just observe that character as much as you can. And, anything you observe can't be you.. look and see.

Love ya, Jed

Find out what a ''reason'' is an you will learn much....

Love ya, Jed.