Dear Jed, thanks for the answer. I understood you so, that the fear can overtake you and you hide in a "hole" and prefer to remain a child, rather than grow up. My experiences with fear are almost 20 years ago. I had a burnout syndrome, that completely changed my life. This fear was unbearable, but helped me get out of the "hole". My "hole" was a spiritual community.
If I understand you correctly, I would call myself an "adult" who keeps struggling for truth. But I am not sure if, I understand what "fear" is. Jed, what is fear?
Thank you very much for the answer and best regards
Ingo