Author Topic: First step Last step  (Read 6400 times)

Jed McKenna

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Re: First step Last step
« Reply #30 on: November 25, 2016, 07:43:20 pm »
Wanting something just pushes it away.

Love ya, Jed

adinfinitum

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Re: First step Last step
« Reply #31 on: November 27, 2016, 05:16:10 pm »
I feel as new as I were was I was a kid. Like nothing changed. The same...
Is this really me ? Is this the mistake ?
« Last Edit: November 27, 2016, 05:26:46 pm by adinfinitum »

Jed McKenna

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Re: First step Last step
« Reply #32 on: November 27, 2016, 09:47:56 pm »
Who's asking???

Love ya,  Jed.

adinfinitum

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Re: First step Last step
« Reply #33 on: November 28, 2016, 05:38:10 am »
I am confused.
The one who posted the question doesn't feel 'me' now.
If I ask the question at this moment, when asking it feels I.
After that when I look who asked, doesn't feel like me... again.
If I ask who looks... it's...
It is always before me!
I am always from the past in a way, like a reminiscence. I come claiming this and go...
It's a beautiful comtemplation but ... you know I can't explain why there is a 'but' in there.
Like I'm still there or will be soon. What is it that resist ?
It's weird I feel loved now.

Jed McKenna

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Re: First step Last step
« Reply #34 on: November 29, 2016, 01:08:32 am »
Nothing resisting nothing and thus making both appear as something ... soooooo why both with resisting. Drop it and whole equation is dust.

Love ya, Jed

adinfinitum

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Re: First step Last step
« Reply #35 on: December 01, 2016, 04:04:53 pm »
I read an ooold post of yours (2 years olds) stating your definition of stupidity and ignorance (behaviors).
I hesitate between both now. Either I reformulate questions I already asked / come up with a new story or ... stare blankly.
I'll go for ignorance and if it last too long I'll probably go with stupid....

Jed McKenna

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Re: First step Last step
« Reply #36 on: December 02, 2016, 12:08:53 am »
I'll suggest something. Hold your head still and scan a panorama by just moving you eyes. How smoothly did you eyes move? If you can be aware of them, you will note that they move in small jerks. They are jumping form one important/meaning to another. It mirrors what your mind does.

Try moving then smoothly without fixating on any particular thing. It helps to de-focus a little.

Love ya, Jed.
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adinfinitum

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Re: First step Last step
« Reply #37 on: December 02, 2016, 12:50:34 pm »
Ha! Yes my eyes move in small jerks, the only way I found to scan smoothly was while walking.
Reading the previous post was like an instant download...
My mind sticks to importances, things, events, more things.
I cannot stop from doing so it but noticing the jumping here and there... tends to stop it.
It's like an invitation to die. Me is the biggest of all my importances. Defocusing => not a lot of me.
I confuse being with whatever that says 'me'.
I have faith that what's left without is worth it or no... just would be better without me eating the whole cpu power.
I also notice how in love I am with meanings... how else would I still be there.
The advice of ignoring was very similar no ? Maybe too raw to my taste. This way hmm it's different.
But I'm just spinning here. I see my responsibility...  or am I hallucinating that it is my decision ? I don't know.

Jed McKenna

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Re: First step Last step
« Reply #38 on: December 04, 2016, 12:57:22 am »
You are always hallucinating, so don't take anything seriously... and that includes me.

Love ya, Jed

adinfinitum

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Re: First step Last step
« Reply #39 on: December 04, 2016, 12:45:07 pm »
I feel trapped in an avalanche. Mindstorm, lots of hate and in definitive no reference point, no center... tough.

Jed McKenna

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Re: First step Last step
« Reply #40 on: December 04, 2016, 11:40:31 pm »
...further... what did you expect me to say?

Love ya, Jed.

adinfinitum

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Re: First step Last step
« Reply #41 on: December 05, 2016, 05:06:45 am »
Nothing it can only be further.

Jed McKenna

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Re: First step Last step
« Reply #42 on: December 05, 2016, 05:12:10 am »
 ;) 8) :-*

adinfinitum

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Re: First step Last step
« Reply #43 on: December 05, 2016, 12:47:57 pm »
- The witness is a subtler self, a stripped down version still comfortably avoiding the truth.
- I have been playing with images all this time. Haha... the mistake. I wasn't up to the level of your advice : Ignoring. Haha... **** it's too scary. How could I be ready for this ...

adinfinitum

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Re: First step Last step
« Reply #44 on: December 06, 2016, 06:08:17 am »
The present feels like a death trap. So I'm like a duck paddling hard to escape the vortex... this image is stupid and shows the comedy that it is. I'm a clown.
I feel like a clown writing here, a fraud. All I say is fraud. All I can think or do is not true but I can't stop.
The judge is looking down on my little scene and I feel the shame but he's part of the scheme.
Breathe. Breathe.

Answering machine beep : ??? ??? ??? ::) ::) ::)  ;) ;) ;) love ya.