Author Topic: First step Last step  (Read 6858 times)

adinfinitum

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Re: First step Last step
« Reply #15 on: November 24, 2016, 05:20:18 pm »
Something hit me hard yesterday. I had to admit that I have nothing to gain from this.
And this morning it was like : This is it. I'm not who I think I am. I am. End of story. Nothing to celebrate. I really can't claim anything.
I looked and got the word 'being'. It's just being. But that couldn't matter less. After that I contemplated non-being. Wouldn't matter either. It's strange because it is ok.

Now I still feel that the madness is close, I feel ready to fall back into old behaviors.
I'm skeptical to say the least. I don't remember accurately but I have the impression that this happened before and I ended seeking again a few months after.

I guess from your last message that ignoring is probably still advised here but this was very unsettling so I'd like to hear your opinion.

Thanks.