Author Topic: Gwen  (Read 2162 times)

Gwen

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Re: Gwen
« Reply #75 on: November 10, 2014, 06:03:14 pm »
Dearest Jed,
At the moment I'm in London with Roxanne.
We're in a satsang intensive. (5 days).
1)
You are right, It's all me. I've never seen such arrogance, narcissicm and selfishness in one place.
I want freedom, I want to wake up, I want you to liberate me, I want to be rid of ego, I want to hug you, I want, I want, I want.........
Basically every question came down to 'I want something other than what is'. Of course it was me that disgusted me so much. The beauty is that also this IS.
2)
As long as there is you (the guru) there will be me (the student).

Love you
Gwen
« Last Edit: November 11, 2014, 02:07:49 am by Gwen »

Jed McKenna

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Re: Gwen
« Reply #76 on: November 11, 2014, 03:09:37 am »
Have fun guys,

As long as there is you (the guru) there will be me (the student)

Are you sure that's true, I've already disappeared. How about as long as there is a student there is a guru. When the last student disappears, there goes the last guru. I have no need for you, however, you do appear to have some temporary need for me... so I just hang around, only and always just for you, the last student in this universe.

Love ya, Jed

Gwen

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Re: Gwen
« Reply #77 on: November 11, 2014, 03:39:59 pm »
Forgive me, that sounded quite arrogant.  :o


I realised deeply during these Q&A sessions that it was me being arrogant. The search for freedom is nothing more than arrogance. Me, me,me, me and more ME.
Being here in you're online ashram is one of the greatest gifts but at the same time It's also  the 'me' that wants something from you,
That needs something from you, that thinks that you, the guru can give it something in the future.
Something other than what is ( here).
That's all

Love you
Gwen


« Last Edit: November 11, 2014, 03:43:09 pm by Gwen »

Jed McKenna

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Re: Gwen
« Reply #78 on: November 12, 2014, 09:00:01 am »
Dear Gwen:

Quietly sit down and image I am a great Zen master from the sixteenth century. Wise beyond reproach and very, very strict. I am always behind you.

As you contemplate your breath, watch, very, very closely, should your mind wander from that breath focus for one second I will whack you on the back with my special centuries old carbon fiber epoxy one-of-a-kind bamboo cane/fishing rod. Not enough to hurt but enough to wake you up to your present focus. (Rods available for $99USD plus shipping).

Just a note, in this life I would never dream of hitting you, but I am currently in a previous dream and standards are a little different. Trust that I hit the male monks much harder. Males are usually a little wackier hence require a greater whacking.

Love ya, Jed.
Hmmm.. this whacking is beginning to feel good... do you think I have a problem here??? :o ??? ::)

Gwen

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Re: Gwen
« Reply #79 on: November 15, 2014, 02:11:32 am »
Dearest Jed,

THANKS.
I really enjoy the focus.
My back and neck are blue, yellow and red from your hacking.
You're great and I love you

Gwen
« Last Edit: November 15, 2014, 02:14:41 am by Gwen »

Jed McKenna

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Re: Gwen
« Reply #80 on: November 15, 2014, 02:54:42 am »
My heh heh... pleasure.

Love ya, Jed.

Gwen

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Re: Gwen
« Reply #81 on: November 18, 2014, 07:48:44 am »
Hello Jed,

How are you and how's Maya (your dog). Is she still alive?
Of course she's alive, what I mean is, is her body still around?

Some turbulence here.
The inner focus thing is really great. It's also very very relaxing that sometimes I want to fall asleep. 
Life is defenitely showing me where the little demons are. You can't imagine what is coming up.
Especially thoughts.
I think it is you who said this is not for pussies. It's not!

Thanks Jed for everything and if there's anything I can do for you, just
ask.

Love you
Gwen
« Last Edit: November 18, 2014, 08:25:18 am by Gwen »

Jed McKenna

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Re: Gwen
« Reply #82 on: November 18, 2014, 11:05:54 am »
Dear Gwen:

Thank you for your kind thoughts. You have no idea how much you have already done for me.

Love ya, Jed.

Gwen

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Re: Gwen
« Reply #83 on: November 23, 2014, 11:11:07 am »
Dear Jed,

You said this for the second time already and I don't know what you mean.

We were celebrating Milla's birthday ((my) younger daughter) the other day and the whole family was there. They knew I went to London for the silent retreat. They were really making fun of me and were saying some things that I might call offensive/insulting and you know what.....I just looked at them and felt nothing (but love) for every single one of them. This took me by surprise....

Love you

Gwen
Ps: I can be so happy these days for no reason at all. (and happy is an understatement) XXX



Gwen

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Re: Gwen
« Reply #84 on: November 25, 2014, 01:15:33 pm »
Dear Jed,

Today I went to the vet with Happy (the dog). She developed a spot on her knee (her coat turned red from her licking at that one specific spot). It's a holistic vet, so he knew immediately she had a sensitivity on the spleen meridian.

Happy is trying to tell me something and it's all about (my) sensitivity of course.
It's main physiological functions (spleen meridian) are governing transportation and transformation of nutrient essence and body fluid, controlling blood flow and supporting the muscles and four limbs.

The transformation part and the blood flow part is what got my attention.( I mentioned the heavy period and I'm sure it has something to do with this.)
Letting go is the message (always is) and my question is: "Do you have any advise of letting go of something that has been transmitted from generation to generation?

1 hour later.....

Forget the question...Is there anything that has not been transmitted from generation to generation?


Thanks

Love you

Gwen
PS: Please tell me if you think this is BS
« Last Edit: November 25, 2014, 02:38:16 pm by Gwen »

Jed McKenna

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Re: Gwen
« Reply #85 on: November 26, 2014, 01:45:25 am »
Dear Gwen:

Yes, but not all, just mostly.

Love ya, Jed.

Gwen

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Re: Gwen
« Reply #86 on: November 26, 2014, 03:16:44 am »
Dearest Jed,

1. I'm Gwen and I have a dog. The dog has some red spot. We go to the vet. There is a a problem and we have to solve the problem. The vet changes something in the diet.

2. I'm the dog, the vet and the room with everything in it. I'm the red spot, the voices, the sensitivity, the cure, etc...
I become the experience/am the experience

In the second case there is the totality of the experience.
(What the ego does is  separating  the whole experience. )

Be-ing the totality, 
experiencing ....
there's nothing missing...


Love you

Gwen



« Last Edit: November 27, 2014, 02:53:30 am by Gwen »

Gwen

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Re: Gwen
« Reply #87 on: November 26, 2014, 01:04:51 pm »
Forgive me for posting this much, especially now that you're absorbed with the new project

You asked the following: 'If there was one little thing you could expose, one frailty, one flaw, one part of you that you hate or are not proud of, what might that be?'

- Maybe something stupid but it's about: 'Not fitting in'. Difficult to explain but even here on the forum there is an underlying feeling of not fitting in. Of being the misfit. I never had much friends, never felt the need to be surrounded by people.

- Hated the inner critic (ego) but maybe that's not such a bad thing (otherwise wouldn't be here).

- Always dsliked (my) body because it seems to live life on its own.

- using I, me, my, mine in communication

Ps: Thanks for what you said to Roxanne. (Ballet) You would make a great parent!











« Last Edit: November 27, 2014, 12:56:13 am by Gwen »

Jed McKenna

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Re: Gwen
« Reply #88 on: November 27, 2014, 01:55:55 am »
 :D

Gwen

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Re: Gwen
« Reply #89 on: November 27, 2014, 12:09:32 pm »
Dear Jed,

Log in= ok (only very slow). Happy to be back. Thanks!

Feel like deleting all (my) posts.

Today I thought you threw me off the forum.(with the hacking)
A lot of selfdoubt arose. Felt it.

Thanks

Love*

Gwen