Author Topic: Have been here before  (Read 3725 times)

mindlessbutter

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Re: Have been here before
« Reply #150 on: June 19, 2017, 11:01:27 am »
Well... when something seems to be terribly terrible it dissolves within days, hours or minutes within this experience. Then it Pops up again but the time of discomfort is extremely bad and drains all the energy. When I feel on solid ground again - expecially in my relationship (the ex was not intended ;)) - there is a sense of relief. When in discomfort the I screams: give me comfort please! Like a drug ... at the same time something in me says there has to be something steady uneffected clear pure...  Can't I just let go of the discomfort? It is annoying.

mindlessbutter

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Re: Have been here before
« Reply #151 on: June 19, 2017, 11:02:19 am »
I would not want to spend time with me. I am a Drama queen, boring and self-centred  :-X

mindlessbutter

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Re: Have been here before
« Reply #152 on: June 19, 2017, 11:03:51 am »
But the fact that : nothing matters' gives me a huge wave of relief

Jed McKenna

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Re: Have been here before
« Reply #153 on: June 20, 2017, 01:51:50 am »
Excellent!

mindlessbutter

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Re: Have been here before
« Reply #154 on: June 27, 2017, 06:58:27 am »
The urge to (self-)Expression is there, although there is this still Holding back mechanism, and surrendering/expressing one Piece at a time, not all of it at once. Hiding much?

Jed McKenna

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Re: Have been here before
« Reply #155 on: June 28, 2017, 05:57:32 am »
 ::) ::) ::)

mindlessbutter

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Re: Have been here before
« Reply #156 on: July 01, 2017, 06:05:51 am »
Nothing to do, nothing to Change, nothing to say... hm.

Jed McKenna

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Re: Have been here before
« Reply #157 on: July 01, 2017, 06:25:02 am »
 ;) ;) ;)

mindlessbutter

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Re: Have been here before
« Reply #158 on: July 01, 2017, 08:36:46 am »
Row row row your boat  8) ::) :D

Awaiting the next psychological breakdown  :P :( Will it come? Can I know anything for sure? No... Waiting.

Jed McKenna

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Re: Have been here before
« Reply #159 on: July 02, 2017, 01:11:36 am »
You are anticipating something specific. That is sufficient to hide what is. Just remain as open a you can.

Love ya, Jed

mindlessbutter

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Re: Have been here before
« Reply #160 on: July 02, 2017, 03:37:23 am »
Well what I see or what appears to be is that enjoying this Moment is sufficient and awe-some  ::) There is this wish for being at the sea and Surfing. Well... and ... nothing. I dreamed (within my actual dream) that I need only not to contradict a desire to manifest it. Did I come up with this, or did I just read it somewhere? Feels right.

mindlessbutter

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Re: Have been here before
« Reply #161 on: July 04, 2017, 09:55:43 am »
The only thing that dies make sense - or does it? Is loving, giving, hm! Nothing else makes sense .. how can I take from anyone if this is already enough?

Jed McKenna

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Re: Have been here before
« Reply #162 on: July 05, 2017, 03:56:09 am »
Can one really take anything or give anything in a dream... really?  Just one dream character playing with another. You might want to play with letting everything be as it appears to be. What use is there in seeking to change a dream? Can you really effect anything?

Love ya, Jed.

mindlessbutter

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Re: Have been here before
« Reply #163 on: July 05, 2017, 03:49:25 pm »
It feels as though I can change something . I can eat something I want to eat, I can do what I want, I control where I go but : no I do not , I would not choose things that are not pleasurable, I would not choose pain  and Apparantly there is a lot of unpleasant emotion in me Here. I hate it, I want to push the unpleasantness away, it should not be here and yet it is and I make it bigger by fighting ... it is here , it thus has a right to existence or at least a space.. it hurts and being the hurt is the wish to actually keep the hurt and to stay 'me'.itll kill me or die, but either way I will die -- ranting , sorry. Words cannot express anything .

Jed McKenna

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Re: Have been here before
« Reply #164 on: July 06, 2017, 03:18:27 am »
 ;) ;) ;)