INVISIBLE GURU FORUM

....
I kind of lost sight of the plot.

What is it that I was looking for again?

Enlightentment being the name of a THING.

What is that THING?

Happiness, peace, bliss, etc...

all seperate qualities.

but not enlightenment.

So, what is enligthenment?

Feel like im going in circles.

Enlightenemnt....is the the name of something.
a pointer of something.

But what is it pointing at ?

Seems like it cant point at anything.

Cause there is nothing under the name.

So when I say enlightenment..

I refer to - ?? . Cause I dont know what it is.


When you say enlightenment your referring to -?



Cant be non-self. Cant be this or that.
Maybe those are all aspects of IT.

but what is IT?

If you have to ask...your not enlightened.


haha.

oh man.

No man is a prophet in his own country.


Think I could be a prophet in this country?

at 27,
Ive wasted much time.

I still dont know what to do.

it seems to me in life, you have limited time.

and you cant do EVERYTHING.

Ill be 28 soon, and want to make sure my 30:s are fruitful.

As looking back at my youth, it was a waste of smoking weed and just trying to find the EASY route.

Didnt finish anything I started.
Terrible finances.
Squandered oppurtunities.

Theres a sense of regret here right now.

Just not taking care of the things that were given to me, over all.

Just lazy.

Thankfully, I quit smoking weed about 2 months ago.

But now it seems Ive woken to my life, and its a mess.


Dont know if its me waking up from the haze of marijuana.

or waking up from a fantasy world.

Frankly, who cares.

But now I have alot of work to do. It will probably take 2 or 3 years to things straightened out from here.

And now I realize that in order to accomplish things, they take time, and persistent effort, and clarity of intent.

Nothing comes easy, or over night.

Any advice?

So my gf of 6 years and i broke up.

I was in alot of pain, drinking and etc trying to feel better.

Then i tried to just sit down and go INTO all the thoughts that i had about what could happen, what will happen, and what has happened.

I sat down in the shower for an hour, just ruminating, forcing myself to face all these fears.

Really imagining the worst outcomes, really imagining the worst scenarios.

Blowing up my fears as bad as i can. and I find that it neutralizes the feelings.

Instead of running from thoughts, and trying to meditate. by facing them, they lose their power..

It gave me much relief, and thought id come here and share, since i remember you typing this somewhere.

Now im gonna try going thru all my fears, and painful memories and blowing them up and making them TERRIBLE.