Terminate your maintenance contract, sweep up the b.s. and get on with whatever you are inclined to get one with. Yes, you do not exist, and yes, you do not not exist. You are nothing and everything. It's a pretty good axiom that if it defies common sense, goes against logic, doesn't fit with modern psychology or science and/or would never appear on CNN, then you are probably on to something Truthish. Hunt that puppy.
Love ya, Jed. (hey, not like puppy love, if you know what I mean.