Author Topic: Hi from  (Read 870 times)

greylady

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Re: Hi from
« Reply #15 on: February 14, 2018, 12:08:21 pm »
Growing up I've always had trouble wearing masks. I felt pretentious. Problems with self image - and a clear lack I felt always. It was a deep problem. Ambitiousness drew its energy from there. Desire for better fitting masks. Desire for better "self-image". Desire of feeling adequate, while inadequacy was the fuel.

Contradictory desires.

Noticed something as well. When someone is able to project a confident reassuring self image, I find myself mirroring them. They create a bug in my system, my thoughts use their voice to gain my attention. It is super annoying to see patterns outside take forms inside. But I've grown used to it. I no longer identify with any pattern, if a certain pattern looks tasty to the body mind , so be it. Going with that flow now.

Self image is a tricky monster.

Jed McKenna

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Re: Hi from
« Reply #16 on: February 15, 2018, 04:40:39 am »
Admire that tricky monster... but never believe it.

Love ya, Jed.

greylady

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Re: Hi from
« Reply #17 on: February 17, 2018, 05:09:59 pm »
A lot of my life is a happening than doing..it's the response of the universe to the desire & plan. I believed in "doing", which was response to the universe really at its best. It's like meeting the demand perfectly as requested.

Starting an experiment, what if i pretend to be a universe and desire self fulfillment .. instead of teeny tiny human.. it's one single thing and everything happens within inside.

greylady

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Re: Hi from
« Reply #18 on: February 19, 2018, 02:37:55 am »
A lot of my life doesn't make sense.

Jed McKenna

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Re: Hi from
« Reply #19 on: February 22, 2018, 02:31:27 am »
None of mine makes sense... and I enjoy the heck out of it.

Love ya, Jed.

greylady

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Re: Hi from
« Reply #20 on: February 22, 2018, 10:06:02 am »
I guess things are back to "square one". I find myself slipping into pseudo spiritual "I want to keep the cake and eat it at the same time " mode. Haha
Goals Goals .. but only this time, I feel integrated. Actually preferring integrated rainbow colors than monochrome lasers. Liking it so far. Pleasant, but not true  ;D
Reading a book on yoga - it starts with an assumption on God, that he/she is something something.. then people try to attain that .  What a circle that is.
My mental voices thing is less annoying. Replaced my mascot as Joey from Friends TV show. He is so dumb but he is cool inside the head 😂😂

Until next time.

Jed McKenna

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Re: Hi from
« Reply #21 on: February 24, 2018, 09:07:00 am »
I await your post....

greylady

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Re: Hi from
« Reply #22 on: February 25, 2018, 02:31:46 am »
My time is very limited. I don't know how long I'll be in this awesome habitual body. Time is ticking, it's an opportunity to do whatever that can be done. Focus and Fun both are my motivators. Every other voice is a distraction. Iam all there is , my focus is all that matters , fun is the filter. I know all about focussed seriousness, focused depression, focussed sadness, but missed out on so much fun.

Focussed Fun - that will be my show ;-)

greylady

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Re: Hi from
« Reply #23 on: February 27, 2018, 03:49:11 am »
Hey Jed, You are a part of my universe. There is no use complaining about the universe to universe, while Iam the one who is slow and assuming an audience where there is none. Universe is all there is, or Iam all there is. No two. One big thing or one tiny thing.

Hey dude, don't waste my time ;-) Let's go for a better mode of communication :P #shutup

Jed McKenna

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Re: Hi from
« Reply #24 on: February 27, 2018, 06:42:07 am »
Lock, stock and barrel.

 8) 8) 8)