INVISIBLE GURU FORUM

I am having lately lot of those suffocating feelings - medications help not.  It is very unpleasant feeling which wakes me up at night, not being able to breathe in. It has another level which feels like I am being stucked and inprisoned by the body. By the story, by the situation people believe I put myself in (I know it was so overwhelming I had "choice" in it as a falling leave in the wind, just surprised, observing. ) Before Africa I badly fallen down, was immovable and in semi/un-concious state lying down immovable, the physical pain too strong so fully disociated with the body - saw it from outside.  X-ray - born with spine issue. After Africa, for five months trying to get over unbelievably depictable human manners, there was time I was waking up in the middle of the night  -  "What have I done wrong for all that **** (from "others") having in my face?" True colours of everyone. 35 years of the wood did not make them honest. // Maybe that no breathing, no problem, but still it makes me little bit grumpy, when "I" wants to breathe, God laughs