no control. Plans/planning."I"m not in that loop. I am being escorted here and there. Sometimes it difficult, sometimes it's easy, because everyone around me makes it happen. Either way I'm going forward through whatever. I look at what is in front of me and say "embrace that", at least accept it completely.
I'm way way back up in the mountains. So far that I've never heard an airplane. I wanted to be in nature, and I got what I asked for. It's different then what I thought. A lot of death and strange death scenarios, like this morning, a deer died somehow standing in the middle of the river, near some rapids. No wounds. There was a mountain lion paw print in the mud close by. I looked all around me in case it was still there.
I see how l wasn't aware at all of how death is all around us. I've been protected from running into it ever. Everything has been so sanitized. And then my dog walking around with a big bone. Crazy. beautiful, painfully sad.
I'm thrown into a lot of action up here. It's like trying to stay conscious while surfing. Its a new level. Yet another beginning. I thought maybe, maybe I was getting close, but I'm just leveling up again.
Thanks and hugs...