Author Topic: SA part 2  (Read 263 times)

greenairplane

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SA part 2
« on: September 10, 2017, 01:05:42 pm »
Hi Jed. 
    Am I stuck? I'm not a HA. Nor am I TR. I'm not really seriously depressed or anything right now. Most things I want, I get. Except I'm not very social and I don't get any hot girlfriends. I haven't taken the first step at all. I'm leaving the nest of my loving parents and will have a lot more time to think for myself at college. Is meditation really a waste of time in terms of TR? What should I be doing right now? I have so many past issues that surface up when I do SA. Should I face up to them or just ignore them keep my eye on the ball, the "Who am I" question? When I work on my issues I get all emotional and it feels like I'm getting stuff done. When I just stick with the Who am I question, I feel like I don't get anywhere. Also, I did a meditation retreat and had some "no-self" experiences. There were each few seconds long. It was disorienting and I had to stop myself from bursting in laughter while everyone in the Zendo were chanting together. Does this experience mean I'm making progress? Should I try to get more of these experiences? I really don't know what my next step is.

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greenairplane

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Re: SA part 2
« Reply #1 on: September 10, 2017, 01:07:28 pm »
Oh and to introduce myself, I'm a 19 year old classical musician, spiritual seeker, and a biggest fan of your books. Nice to meet you Jed.
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greenairplane

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Re: SA part 2
« Reply #2 on: September 12, 2017, 06:06:22 pm »
I have two parts of my day. The first part I'm probing into the real truth and just like right now, I feel like I almost had it, I almost got the truth. I was trying to access the question "what's the nature of reality" and my attention got totally disinterested in any thought or perception and then I got distracted and now it's 4pm and I haven't done anything to deal with ordinary life so I got to "go back to sleep." Because my ordinary life is important :-\ I'm addicted to life. This is frustrating. Some spiritual teachers teach about bringing in meditation into the entire day. What do you think?
« Last Edit: September 12, 2017, 06:08:00 pm by greenairplane »

Jed McKenna

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Re: SA part 2
« Reply #3 on: September 12, 2017, 11:36:19 pm »
Hi there:

I'm not big on meditation, I prefer to call it contemplation. Meditation almost always just puts one in a pleasant alpha state or to sleep. I suggest you relabel it as contemplation and gently ask whatever koan you like throughout your active day. You do something like sit down at your computer or do the dishes and ask ''who is doing this?'', ''Who decided this''... ''Do I exist'', etc. You can make whatever you want up. Remember, a good question in a spiritual sense doesn't have an answer... you don't want answers, just that constant state of questioning. When you think you are going to go stark raving mad then just relax, it means you are making progress.

Love ya, Jed.

greenairplane

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Re: SA part 2
« Reply #4 on: September 13, 2017, 03:44:44 pm »
Thanks Jed,

I'm struggling right this moment with the "what is the nature of reality" Question. The more I ask, the more it feels impossible to answer it but hell I keep trying and the burning sensation in the stomach is awful. I don't know if I'm making progress, but I guess at least I'm not going backwards.

I have a question.
What is a vow?
In moments of clarity I feel like I want to dedicate my whole life to understanding reality but then my intentions quickly change the next moment. Is the vow (or perhaps you call it the First Step) something you create and maintain every day by reminding your self and eliminating distractions? How do I know what's the right vow for me?

Jed McKenna

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Re: SA part 2
« Reply #5 on: September 13, 2017, 05:04:54 pm »
Find out who is make a vow to whom and you won't need to make any more.

Remember, only you mind wants answers. Forget answers, just be with the question. Question open things up and answer shut them down.

Love ya, Jed.