Author Topic: I need a knife  (Read 2380 times)

Kendred

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I need a knife
« on: March 25, 2018, 10:01:40 pm »
I've been on the edge of "death" for a few years now. I'm really irritated I've let this grind on for too long. Its as though I've lost my knife n can't seem to  finally cut my own head off. All Is smoke but this game I seem trapped in. My real question is how do I stop deluding myself because I've made a search out of this whole thing. Ahh the paradox. Perhaps the "realness" of the search is what I hold onto.

Hope that makes sense, Thanks for the forum

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Jed McKenna

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Re: I need a knife
« Reply #1 on: March 26, 2018, 06:02:05 am »
Hi there:

So, you want a knife.... ooohhh....ah... what for?

Love ya, Jed.

Kendred

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Re: I need a knife
« Reply #2 on: March 27, 2018, 04:29:33 pm »
The fact that I can't write an answer without immediately invalidating for myself what i just said gets to the heart of the absurdity. All I can respond with is more metaphoric BS. More dream crap.  There is No need and no point to me talking, Thanks.

Jed McKenna

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Re: I need a knife
« Reply #3 on: March 27, 2018, 11:19:38 pm »
Sounds like you are getting ''it''. Good, now be gentle on your self.

Love ya, Jed.

Kendred

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Re: I need a knife
« Reply #4 on: April 10, 2018, 01:33:44 pm »
Wow....realizing that my thoughts run themselves In these sorts of balls of energy is some what horrifying. I can see now why I would rather stay in pain than let go, see that it just is what it is, n fall back into nothingness. So Seductive identification and engagement is. I imagine it as putting your face into a ball of emotional water, like that part from harry potter. Like a sort of energy mask you imagine life through. My oh my.

Thanks!

Kendred

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Re: I need a knife
« Reply #5 on: April 10, 2018, 01:44:07 pm »
I'm not thinking, I'm being thought.

Kendred

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Re: I need a knife
« Reply #6 on: April 10, 2018, 03:26:32 pm »
Being art inclined, I've always wanted to create things of my own since i was young but at the same time get the ego satisfaction. But I ran into the problem if I'm coming from my mind ( will) to create I can't create something "new". If I want to create it does it on its own to the point there is no ego gratification because in a way "I" have no control, no say . This has given me a real struggle but realizing the whole thought thing sums this up quite nicely. I hope my ranting can be of help to someone. "Not by my will ,but thy will be done"😊

Jed McKenna

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Re: I need a knife
« Reply #7 on: April 11, 2018, 01:08:41 am »
Yes, you are being thought, breathed and lived. Go figure.

Don't be concerned about other people, there actually are no other people.

Figure it out for yourself and no one else.

Love ya, Jed.

Kendred

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Re: I need a knife
« Reply #8 on: June 15, 2018, 05:50:43 pm »
I've come to the realisation there is no true depth to anything and assuming depth or understanding is the illusion that keeps you stuck in a self induced merry go round of ideas and story's about "reality". Such a headache trying to figure things out you can't. I guess I've always assumed there was an other. Something more than experience, some "realness to things" But I guess not haha.

Jed McKenna

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Re: I need a knife
« Reply #9 on: June 16, 2018, 12:49:49 am »
Anything that is transient, i.e., comes and goes, is not real. Now you want to spend you time wisely, find what doesn't come and go.

Love ya, Jed.


Kendred

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Re: I need a knife
« Reply #10 on: July 15, 2018, 04:12:32 pm »
I've had hard time coming to an understanding of the terms you use in my own experience. I would describe things in terms of conceptual emotional "reality" constructed withg stories as the dream state. I would consider unadorned perception/perceiving as truth or the closest thing to actual reality. So if we are on the same page. HA is realizing the stories and emotional bonding conceptions as just that but still allowing yourself to go on with. TR would be disengaging completely from stories and the energetic input that they require. Are we talking about the same stuff?

Jed McKenna

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Re: I need a knife
« Reply #11 on: July 16, 2018, 03:02:05 am »
Certainly H/A allows for ''normal'' human interactions... why not?

After T/R you don't completely disengage from anything. You realized you where never engaged with anything... then you continue the balance of your ''human'' dream. Every is the same and totally different. Unexplainable and unimaginable.

Love ya, Jed.



Kendred

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Re: I need a knife
« Reply #12 on: July 20, 2018, 10:59:45 am »
I guess my only motivation is disgust and discomfort, hatred even. Inevitably leading me to the desperation for truth. It feels to me that I've always known what to do. In a way you're always leading yourself the right direction unless you get stuck on a detour and decide to stay. The little bastard is the only one really on your side in this whole thing. Your Intuition that everything is based on lies. I guess I'm just talking. It's like you try to shut this thing up inside you that is causing all this pain n misery then you come to the realization its telling the closet thing to truth you know. Flipping your world inside out. No wonder hatred is looked down upon because otherwise people might actually have some eyes to see. But who knows anything. Thanks for the help jed.