Author Topic: Illusion  (Read 272 times)

Illusion

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Illusion
« on: September 15, 2014, 02:51:00 am »
It feels like something is happening. But it is not an experience and it sure isn't happening to me. Like it is closing in. My mind is going in circles. I am annoyed by all the noise there seems to be. Am I that noise. I know all that I am not. But then what am I. That is not a good question. I feel nervos. But that is not true because I am not that and I don't feel anything. I don't know. I just want to write something. But that isn't true also. This writing is happening and has also nothing to do with me. I feel irritated. But that's not true either. I don't have enough space. How is it possible to even breath. I don't know. This is not it. And I don't know what it is.
I want to roar like a lion. But that is not true. I need to erase that. But I don't.
I'm not making any sense. But it is good to write this stuff. Just breath and relax. Then who is there to relax?
Going for a run now. I need some air. There doens't seem to be enough room for it all. Like I am being compressed or something like that.
What a nonsense this all is. I am going to post this or erase it. Bpoperereorjekrejrejrkejrkjrejrekrekrercm mvx

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Illusion

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Re: Illusion
« Reply #1 on: September 15, 2014, 02:54:18 am »
It is so strange that nothing is happening. Totally weird stuff. erjex,nkjdkjfkjdfjdgfjmnvo

Illusion

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Re: Illusion
« Reply #2 on: September 15, 2014, 03:00:34 am »
Why isn't there another word for "noise". It isn't noise, because I cannot hear it. It's not noise but there doesn't seem to be another word to describe it.

Illusion

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Re: Illusion
« Reply #3 on: September 15, 2014, 04:44:32 am »
Forget about it.
I cannot put myself out of the equation. I determined what I am not. Did I? What if I am the equation. There is so much space. This is not graspable. Just relax. Not possible when there is no one to do the relaxing thing. So much nonsense. This whole realisation bussiness is utterly bleep.

Illusion

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Re: Illusion
« Reply #4 on: September 15, 2014, 04:57:07 am »
I am everywhere and still nowhere to be found. Isn' t that a .....

Illusion

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Re: Illusion
« Reply #5 on: September 15, 2014, 05:17:27 am »
Nowhere to go and nowhere to hide. Cannot escape this beingness.

Illusion

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Re: Illusion
« Reply #6 on: September 17, 2014, 07:33:59 am »
This body seems to accompagny me everywhere I go. A strange thing. While looking in the mirror it dawned on me that there was no reflection at all. Still roaring like a lion while the silence could be overwhelming but is not.
So much silence.
Sometimes there are questions but they don't need answered. The're not really questions at all. Just grabbing floating images. But how could that be without anyone capable to grasp. It' beyond my comprehension. That's good and comforting.
There seems to be all kinds of things going on but they don't effect me. That's nice.
Alle those silly words. People speak to me and I reply. We all say such silly things. I don't understand the meaning of it. I am not interested at all. Say something TRUE.
Am I seeking something? That's not a question to me. Just a sentence with a questionmark. It doesn't mean anything.
I am not capable of controlling anything. Isn't that beautiful.
How should I know?

Jed McKenna

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Re: Illusion
« Reply #7 on: September 17, 2014, 07:42:16 am »
Only by comparison with something you think you don't know.. but you know everything so bugger that.

Love ya, Jed.

Illusion

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Re: Illusion
« Reply #8 on: September 17, 2014, 07:49:53 am »
Thank you for that.
I don't know. I give up. At least I want to. But it does feel out of my hands.
Today there was this thought that I'm totally sucked in this Maya thing. It is all around me. It is me. And at the same time still doesn't effect me. Both at the same time.
I don't know where I am on this "path". I really don't know. It doesn't seem to leave me alone. I feel consumed by it.