Author Topic: It is starting  (Read 3502 times)

Jed McKenna

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Re: It is starting
« Reply #75 on: April 12, 2018, 09:13:12 pm »
Excellent direction...now what are you going to do to get ''there'', even if there is no ''there'' to ''get''.

Love ya, Jed.

BreakingOut

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Re: It is starting
« Reply #76 on: April 13, 2018, 04:31:35 am »
I will get peace.

I will realize my true nature, so I will stop believing my mind (for real, not acting like I don't believe it,...ie. not on a cognitive, but on a deeper level. Not to say that this cognitive not believing the mind is not good, it is, but still it is not THE thing). I still feel like a person, though I "know" I am not... I "know" it cognitively. It is like a loop in the mind, it is still IN the mind...,,,,,, I want to get out of it, you know?

Yeah,, I came here to realize it, so that is what I will do.

Jed McKenna

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Re: It is starting
« Reply #77 on: April 14, 2018, 03:31:10 am »
You are waaaay too late... peace got you but you are resisting and covering it.

Love ya, Jed

BreakingOut

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Re: It is starting
« Reply #78 on: April 15, 2018, 11:10:25 pm »
Hey, Jed. Yes you're right. The peace is here just I have to find it under many layers.

The peeling started. Little overview of the process.

First step now that I look at it, I think was trowing away the fears, ie. deciding to go through them. That was the worst part for now and Maya tried to put me back on the starting position several times with many different fears. I think I can see through it better now.

The first layer I got off was 'my' expectations from myself. That wasn't even mine but were implanted in me.  That was a huge shiny layer that was on top of everything And was intended for decieving other people And myself that I am all nice and pretty and great. Okay now this is off and I can start to breathe.

Also I understood that I can't do anything to 'enlighten myself'.... Maybe the best I can do is to get off the way. Make space for anything that needs to happen.... Anything. Just watch it through the window,... Either way i have no handle over it.

What I also figured out is that this what I am heading to is..... Unimaginably crazy. It is..... INFINITE. Infinitly big And Infinitly long... Overriding space And time. My brain can not handle that; it would burn out or sth. That is out of this World. This feeling of infinetness is kind of creeping me out when I try to grasp it.

Enjoying this adventure... The best game ever!
No questions.
With much love And gratefulness

Jed McKenna

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Re: It is starting
« Reply #79 on: April 16, 2018, 01:20:11 am »
YES! The best thing anyone can do is get out of the way. Go for it.

Love ya, Jed.

BreakingOut

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Re: It is starting
« Reply #80 on: April 17, 2018, 01:02:07 am »
Next layer to take of: that I am a savior, a healer, to people & to animals. That my actions can change something.

The truth is: they don't matter. The Universe is going to happen on its own; it's like an organism, it can manage itself. My actions can't change that what needs to be, so there is no need to "fight the system" or to do anything else, but watch closely. There is no world to begin with; it is all imagined, so, what is the point of doing anything? I like to think that the point is to have fun; what else would be a better objective in a non-existing game?

So, there is no need to fight anybody and anything. There is no need to save anyone, unless it is a part of a play; unless it is light and easy and playful and not oriented on the results but on the process.

One question for You: why are you helping us? Is it possible that I am imagining you and all this process to wake myself up,... Thank you for that...

Is it possible for people to come to this point and don't continue further? Seems impossible to me....

Love to you

Jed McKenna

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Re: It is starting
« Reply #81 on: April 17, 2018, 01:33:46 am »
Seeking your true nature is a little like drug addition (on the positive side). One gets hooked, and while you may take a respite, you will always come back.

Best wishes,

Love ya, Jed.

BreakingOut

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Re: It is starting
« Reply #82 on: April 17, 2018, 01:40:11 pm »
Yeah I am pretty much hooked...
Was in the Woods today, so happy that everything is Green that I teared a little hahah
Life is good :)
Thank you, love you
Further

Jed McKenna

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Re: It is starting
« Reply #83 on: April 18, 2018, 01:44:18 am »
Happens to me quite a bit also.

Love ya Jed.

BreakingOut

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Re: It is starting
« Reply #84 on: April 19, 2018, 12:49:17 pm »
Hmmm... I noticed something interesting.

There is one part of that shiny layer that I think sticks too much, I think I will have to amputate it or sth because it doesn't peel that easily. And it is pretty much contradictory.

That is the need to be pretty. As I female I guess that need is implanted in you so deeply, since the kindergarten...you have to be nice-looking, cute, then later you even have to be sexy. Or you think you have to, it's a social norm...,you spend so much money on products, make-up, clothes, hairdressers, treatments... then so much energy on putting all that in use, getting yourself nice, you even wear high heels that cause so much pain (why God),,,,just to be sexy, pretty. And then you spend the most energy on not being satisfied with how you look (lol), never being enough. It's a sick joke.

And yesterday I figured maybe being pretty actually causes more harm than good. 1. It drains so much energy, as I pointed out... how would it be to have all that energy for sth else (sth rather important),,... and secondly, it's a little bit **** up that you can't have a normal talk with any guy that he doesn't confabulate that you like him...,, that is like some primal response I guess. I was always in that role of femme fatal and now I am starting to think it is so stupid to spend your energy to playing such an infantile game,.. but at the same time seems so hard to just stop caring about that, it is so deeply rooted. How could I just stop caring how I look? God this is so shallow topic I am embarrassed but it is true that it is somehow important for me :-\
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Jed McKenna

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Re: It is starting
« Reply #85 on: April 19, 2018, 11:57:22 pm »
Well you are absolutely correct... it's a very sick joke and I have sympathy for the finer sex who cannot possibly avoid it... and infantile game. It is shallow but it is definitely a biggie.

But hey, it's part of a mechanism that got the dream to where it is... so it's not horrible.. just a trap.

Young baby, she is so cut, grows up looking pretty (daddy's little girl), then sexy... marries the football team captain (cause she probably has to) both are twenty year old bodies with six year old minds... three kids, divorce, now she ain't so pretty and while devoting her life to her (now in their teens) ungrateful kids she has missed almost all opportunities to explore the other many interesting things that this amazing dream holds. She feels, and pretty much is, an empty shell... Please promise me you won't go all Meg Ryan and start with the plastic surgery crap.

Some of the most beautiful women I see here are eighty years old and bent over from working a life time in the rice fields to support their family. The character and beauty on their faces always blows me away. I never fail to make some small contribution to their final years. To say I love, respect and admire them is an understatement.

You are what you are and if you can't be happy with that, then I would suggest you will never be happy with anything. Maybe time to take out the garbage.

Love ya, Jed.

BreakingOut

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Re: It is starting
« Reply #86 on: April 20, 2018, 03:44:49 am »
Thank you for your kind words and understanding. I spent some time thinking why is it so important to me - what am I really trying to "get" with being pretty. Even if I don't want to be with some guy, I want to be seen as beautiful,,, I don't want him but I want him to like me. I want to have him under my control. For example, happened to me recently that I started to hang out with a married guy that is really sexy and has a great energy. I am really attracted to him, but I don't want to mess with somebody's marriage. That is not my thing,...I don't want to make people sad. BUT I realized that it is really important for me to be beautiful to that guy, to have him want me (?!) even if I don't want to make a mess and won't do it even if he initiated. So, I am playing a fiery b i t c h role here. Spending lots of energy on that play (maybe I want to spill it like that to not deal with the real thing?). What am I getting from it? MAYBE I am trying to confirm my own "value" in this way. Maybe my deep held belief is that I am not worth of being loved and accepted and by being pretty I am getting some acceptance (although the shallowest type) and the feeling of control and that I am not completely worthless. Maybe that is the reason why it is such a central part of my shiny layer and why I preocupy with it on such a high level.
So,, maybe the real question here is, how to peel of the need to be loved and accepted? Removing that this falls with it. And pretty much the feeling of humanness too, I guess,....

Love you.

Jed McKenna

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Re: It is starting
« Reply #87 on: April 20, 2018, 11:13:54 am »
 ;) ;) ;) :-*

BreakingOut

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Re: It is starting
« Reply #88 on: April 20, 2018, 04:46:37 pm »
First kiss from Jed. Thank you for making me feel accepted :D :* you know it means a world to me

What I thought... Maybe it's the other way around. Maybe first the feeling of humannes has to fall off and then the need to be loved and accepted goes with it? Huh?

How to lose the feeling of humanness, then...

Jed McKenna

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Re: It is starting
« Reply #89 on: April 21, 2018, 04:47:40 am »
How you lose anything, is you see the illusion, go right through the middle of any experience... don't try to destroy and don't ignore. The way out is through.

Love ya, Jed.