Hmmm... I noticed something interesting.
There is one part of that shiny layer that I think sticks too much, I think I will have to amputate it or sth because it doesn't peel that easily. And it is pretty much contradictory.
That is the need to be pretty. As I female I guess that need is implanted in you so deeply, since the kindergarten...you have to be nice-looking, cute, then later you even have to be sexy. Or you think you have to, it's a social norm...,you spend so much money on products, make-up, clothes, hairdressers, treatments... then so much energy on putting all that in use, getting yourself nice, you even wear high heels that cause so much pain (why God),,,,just to be sexy, pretty. And then you spend the most energy on not being satisfied with how you look (lol), never being enough. It's a sick joke.
And yesterday I figured maybe being pretty actually causes more harm than good. 1. It drains so much energy, as I pointed out... how would it be to have all that energy for sth else (sth rather important),,... and secondly, it's a little bit
**** up that you can't have a normal talk with any guy that he doesn't confabulate that you like him...,, that is like some primal response I guess. I was always in that role of femme fatal and now I am starting to think it is so stupid to spend your energy to playing such an infantile game,.. but at the same time seems so hard to just stop caring about that, it is so deeply rooted. How could I just stop caring how I look? God this is so shallow topic I am embarrassed but it is true that it is somehow important for me
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