Still reading it but wanted to write some first insights that the book catalysed...
I am noticing that all my ambition that went into the academic success and then into my working life is slowly starting to fade/ is being redirected into finding out the Truth.
Once I started to investigate that feeling of ambition, where does it come from, I saw clearly that it is caused by FEAR. It is not some kind of divine inspiration that I loved to say to myself, but quite the oposite, damn... I was trying hard because I wanted to make my parents proud, to be worthy enough, to be deserving, LOVED... and was running all the time just to stay in place. Because I imagined that this achievements will show my worthines,, ... that is so sad and pointless.
I was focused on just the finite games; wanted to WIN admiration, acceptance, love from others. But the truth is - the win is never enough. You have to keep on racing to justify the prizes you won so far. And I was all the time running at a pace that is ABOVE MY CAPABILITIES. I mean, I can do it, but it is annoying, I mean, it is not life, not a fun good game, but a
**** race, competition, which after some time exhausts you and then what are you left with??? Are you happy then?? Lol.... funny, how it is obvious but I couldn't see it before.
Time to make some changes in my life, I think, some hard ones, not sure how will I manage it ..., what to do exactley...
Just what I know is that I want to free my mind of this clutter to be able to be present... This quote shows it so perfectly, Jed, my God...
"She is taking her time out of her very hectic schedule to have lunch with me. After this, I am going to the park to lay in the grass and watch people play with their dogs."
I want to lay in the grass and watch people play with their dogs!!!
Love to You Jed <3