Author Topic: It is starting  (Read 4642 times)

BreakingOut

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Re: It is starting
« Reply #45 on: March 10, 2018, 12:22:16 pm »
The silly belief in karma? Hehe...that sounds good  :D it is silly? How do You mean that? Like, it doesn't work, or you can avoid its workings through getting out of the illusion?

Is it that it works inside the dream, but doesn't work if you escape out?  I mean, "you" can not escape, actually...there is no you... but you know what I mean?



Jed McKenna

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Re: It is starting
« Reply #46 on: March 11, 2018, 03:20:41 am »
The real you is far more powerful than you can imagine. If you want to make up something like Karma you can. Make it as real as you want... and it will be as real as everything else... but still in the dream.

I suggest that you play with making up bigger, more open, more fun things... read; Finite and Infinite Games by Carse. PDF download. Report back.


Love ya, Jed

BreakingOut

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Re: It is starting
« Reply #47 on: March 11, 2018, 04:22:35 pm »
Doing it! Thank You for the recommondation.

BreakingOut

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Re: It is starting
« Reply #48 on: March 17, 2018, 05:02:52 pm »
Still reading it but wanted to write some first insights that the book catalysed...

I am noticing that all my ambition that went into the academic success and then into my working life is slowly starting to fade/ is being redirected into finding out the Truth.

Once I started to investigate that feeling of ambition, where does it come from, I saw clearly that it is caused by FEAR. It is not some kind of divine inspiration that I loved to say to myself, but quite the oposite, damn... I was trying hard because I wanted to make my parents proud, to be worthy enough, to be deserving, LOVED... and was running all the time just to stay in place. Because I imagined that this achievements will show my worthines,, ... that is so sad and pointless.

I was focused on just the finite games; wanted to WIN admiration, acceptance, love from others. But the truth is - the win is never enough. You have to keep on racing to justify the prizes you won so far. And I was all the time running at a pace that is ABOVE MY CAPABILITIES. I mean, I can do it, but it is annoying, I mean, it is not life, not a fun good game, but a **** race, competition, which after some time exhausts you and then what are you left with??? Are you happy then?? Lol.... funny, how it is obvious but I couldn't see it before.

Time to make some changes in my life, I think, some hard ones, not sure how will I manage it ..., what to do exactley...

Just what I know is that I want to free my mind of this clutter to be able to be present... This quote shows it so perfectly, Jed, my God...

"She is taking her time out of her very hectic schedule to have lunch with me. After this, I am going to the park to lay in the grass and watch people play with their dogs."

I want to lay in the grass and watch people play with their dogs!!!  :)

Love to You Jed <3

Jed McKenna

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Re: It is starting
« Reply #49 on: March 18, 2018, 02:25:49 am »
Couldn't agree with you more... so what are you going to do about it?

Love ya, Jed.

Game Hint: Start with ''you''.

BreakingOut

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Re: It is starting
« Reply #50 on: March 19, 2018, 04:46:33 am »
What a I going to do about it... that is a good question...

I didn't get the hint to be frank... start with "me"? What does that mean?

I'm thinking like this..

You have to do something to get the money,... and the job I have now is pretty good, I love my colleagues and my office,,, it's an office job. It is comfortable and pleasant. I don't want to change it yet; I like it for this scouting period, it gives me some borders and a plenty of time to investigate and explore. (is this some fear?)

The thing I will change is my ambitious wishes; I will let go of the need for success in the projects I am working on. I will play with these projects and let them unravel how they are supposed to; without my pressing for anything. I will do my best, but not overdo it...I will look at it how it is supposed to be looked at - as just work, and not my mission to save the world or sth. I want to play with my work.

The funny thing is, these projects I work on all have some altruistic note, helping people as their goal - this was the thing that motivated me profoundly before. But now, I am starting to wonder, are they really making any difference? The black and white have to be in some kind of balance in the world, in a certain proportion,,, so what am I doing with that work exactley? This is also where my motivation drops a huge amount.

I am happy with this, but I reckon my boss won't be as much...  :D but oh well!

 :-*

BreakingOut

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Re: It is starting
« Reply #51 on: March 20, 2018, 01:55:16 am »
I want to do it gently. Is that possible?

When I meditate on the 'I am', I get in a space where the 'reality' (?) is just experienced, as it is,without the opinions about how it is. It just is, and that is liberating. The mind is the one who makes things difficult; the one who is saying - i like this experience, I want more of this, and less of that, and that is complicating the sense of being - it becomes burdened by opinions, desires and fears. So when mind is shut, the world is good just as it is. 

Now; the point of different kinds of meditation is to shut down the mind in different ways: through mantra, or focusing, or anything else. That is why experience of the world is lighter when you meditate and it is refreshing. Because mind is not interviening. BUT it is non abiding. So you dont really get anything, you just mask it. On the other hand, the point of spiritual autolisys is to unmask this mind; to tear it apart, see through it and understand that it is just a concept, not real, and most certanly not you, so its opinions become unimportant, and that is why the experience is abiding. And the liberation is absoulte, and not just momentary.

And it lasts for some time because there are a lot of layers 'you' have to lose, so it can not happen over night, and it is hard because you have to anihilate 'yourself', or who you all your life thought you were.

Jed McKenna

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Re: It is starting
« Reply #52 on: March 20, 2018, 07:50:56 am »
Give up trying to annihilate anything. Love it to death, encourage the hell out of it. If it is real in any way it will persist, if b.s. it will f-f-f-f-f-f-f ade away.

Love ya, Jed.
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BreakingOut

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Re: It is starting
« Reply #53 on: March 21, 2018, 04:03:27 pm »
hmmm.... the solution is not in the mind... so... all I have to do is to figure out how to go out of my mind...

is it just me or this game is just too much fun?  :D

My Teacher is the Universe itself... Love You!  :-*

BreakingOut

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Re: It is starting
« Reply #54 on: March 21, 2018, 04:06:28 pm »
Just kidding, I am just using you ;)  :D  :-*

Jed McKenna

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Re: It is starting
« Reply #55 on: March 22, 2018, 08:34:11 am »
I am being used like purple Owsley's at a 60's love in.

Love ya, Jed.
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BreakingOut

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Re: It is starting
« Reply #56 on: March 24, 2018, 06:48:52 pm »
I love you, Jed. You are awesome.

You helped me so much already. I really appreciate it greatly. Thank you so so much.

And you are so cool also.
Truthfull And cool And awesome, love you! :*

(sorry for that :D)

BreakingOut

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Re: It is starting
« Reply #57 on: March 24, 2018, 07:03:00 pm »
What I understood is that 'attaining enlightenment' is just another finite game, where enlightenment is 'won'. That is no way to go.

It is in fact infinite.... Infinite.... Whatever that stands for.

Jed McKenna

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Re: It is starting
« Reply #58 on: March 24, 2018, 07:34:00 pm »
Anything that is ''attained'' is not infinite... one realizes Truth and that realization does appear finite, it's Truth itself that is infinite. In my experience and observation, the only thingy that is really infinite.

Love ya, Jed.

BreakingOut

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Re: It is starting
« Reply #59 on: March 26, 2018, 03:49:38 pm »
Infinite... my God... what does that even mean, I can't even comprehend that. Not the slightest. How can you feel infinite... "you" can't... heh....

In the last time, I feel the urge to go in nature, on walks, just me and my dog. I get a glimpse of the "here and now" in these walks...mind interrupts it very quickly though. Still, it is precious; I can see how this kind of beingness is just impossible to have when keeping the normal busy life. It is just too hard for the mind to let go of the earthly things then. If I understand it correctly, ambitions, task-orientation, is the pure contrast of this - beingness.... And what is interesting is that there is no need for ambitons because everything is perfect just the way it is...

so, you become unambitious and pretty much socially awkward.... you have to  choose between the normal life and the real life.

What do you think, is it possible to have a baby and go through this shift? Or is it possible to have a baby after the shift? It seems to me impossible... first, there would be no ambition to have a baby, and secondly, there would be no one to have a baby, that would be really awkward.  ???

Love and gratefulness from an imagined Croatian girl

 :-*
« Last Edit: March 26, 2018, 04:42:52 pm by BreakingOut »