Author Topic: It is starting  (Read 4650 times)

Jed McKenna

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Re: It is starting
« Reply #120 on: August 31, 2018, 12:32:21 am »
Got it. Many thing are available for the open dreamer to enjoy. Sounds like you are doing just fine.

Love ya, Jed   ::) :o ;) :P

BreakingOut

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Re: It is starting
« Reply #121 on: August 31, 2018, 07:07:43 am »
Not bad, not bad, I can not complain  ::) ;D :D :D :D

This pursuit for the Truth is also one of my games,..
The best game in the park

Love you 

Jed McKenna

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Re: It is starting
« Reply #122 on: September 01, 2018, 01:02:50 am »
Well, it certainly can be... until the ride ends... then ????

Love ya, Jed.

BreakingOut

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Re: It is starting
« Reply #123 on: September 04, 2018, 03:17:09 am »
Then what  ??? :(

Then... becoming Jed...  8)
...returning back and playing make-believe?

Don't know now what then... then I will figure what then...

Now it's time to figure what now....

Jed McKenna

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Re: It is starting
« Reply #124 on: September 04, 2018, 07:05:39 am »
Good luck ...  :o :o :o

Love ya, Jed.

BreakingOut

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Re: It is starting
« Reply #125 on: September 04, 2018, 08:13:12 am »
I am ready for the next step, want to make it, I feel stale, staying in this same place for a rather long time. I don't think it was a waste though, I had to get some exp in this place to make it firm,, but now it's time to MOVE ON.

I see I am sleeping through my life,,
I am lazy
I find excusess for not doing the autolysis, for not meditating,,,

that is all because of the FEAR what will come next. The fear is masked in the laziness....

I feel this tension inside, want to proceed but not doing it in practice. Want it but not doing anything! And then there come the drugs,, the joint, the love story... hahah. Nice try, Maya. Thank you, but that is just a story.

I want more discipline. How to discipline myself? Just try to force it, maybe? Force it through the fear...

Jed McKenna

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Re: It is starting
« Reply #126 on: September 04, 2018, 11:56:09 pm »
Good luck with the discipline...

Love ya, Jed.

BreakingOut

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Re: It is starting
« Reply #127 on: September 05, 2018, 06:04:30 am »
Yeah I will try to force it. I will fight with each of Maya warriors, reminding myself of the point.

What other option do I have?

I now see these distractions as a try to escape from the process, so I hope this perception will help me to get through with the discipline.

But then again,,,, there is also a point of perception where I can say that this detachment from the dreamcharacter is an escape from dealing with emotions...it makes everything so much easier to live through. The dreamcharacter doesn't exist in reality, so whats the matter anyway what happens to it?

So yeah...perception is changing the storyline... in the first one my dreamcharacter is a devoted warrior against Maya army, and in the second one it is a crazyperson... hahah

Love you

BreakingOut

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Re: It is starting
« Reply #128 on: September 21, 2018, 03:33:44 pm »
None of the discipline still,

Heheh funny to think 'I' could control that... It is controled by sth that 'I' can not even comprehend...

So.... Time to relax again and see what happens then

Love you

Jed McKenna

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Re: It is starting
« Reply #129 on: September 22, 2018, 12:02:29 am »
Excellent plan, but who is relaxing?

Love ya, Jed.

BreakingOut

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Re: It is starting
« Reply #130 on: September 22, 2018, 12:04:37 pm »
The fake persona that created itself some time ago to explain this wordly experience to itself... So, in essence... Nobody is relaxing (???)

Jed McKenna

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Re: It is starting
« Reply #131 on: September 22, 2018, 11:36:24 pm »
Nobody doing naught... or is it knot?

Love ya, Jed.

BreakingOut

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Re: It is starting
« Reply #132 on: September 24, 2018, 09:44:10 am »
Definetly it is a knot :D

how to unknot the knot....

Jed McKenna

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Re: It is starting
« Reply #133 on: September 25, 2018, 12:02:50 am »
Realize that there is no rope Grasshopper.  ::) ::) ::)

Love ya, Jed.

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BreakingOut

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Re: It is starting
« Reply #134 on: September 25, 2018, 01:55:32 pm »
Okay... next step.

Realized 2 tendencies I have. Locking me from further, both.

1. I feel the constant need to improve something in the physical world; continuous work in progress is there. Losing a lot of energy and time on trivial and unimportant things ie improving my living space, my work and alike and I realize now it is a tactical move to avoid the real work (getting with myself and writing) because it is such a frightening and hard thing to do.
2. I constantly project the image of what I "want to find". I had some crazy experiences with psychedelics and I guess I expect something like that. Stupid I know, I know it is much greater than any drug exp and anything that my tiny mind can imagine but seems like I can not help myself with this. I look and TRY to see it, forcing it too much, projecting some imagination of it and it can not happen that way. How to loosen out these expectations? I am becoming sick of this feeling that it is right in front of my nose and I can not see it because I am looking it through a layer of perception  :-X ::) :-[ (physically sick really)