I am ready for the next step, want to make it, I feel stale, staying in this same place for a rather long time. I don't think it was a waste though, I had to get some exp in this place to make it firm,, but now it's time to MOVE ON.
I see I am sleeping through my life,,
I am lazy
I find excusess for not doing the autolysis, for not meditating,,,
that is all because of the FEAR what will come next. The fear is masked in the laziness....
I feel this tension inside, want to proceed but not doing it in practice. Want it but not doing anything! And then there come the drugs,, the joint, the love story... hahah. Nice try, Maya. Thank you, but that is just a story.
I want more discipline. How to discipline myself? Just try to force it, maybe? Force it through the fear...