Author Topic: Zade  (Read 5375 times)

Jed McKenna

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Re: Zade
« Reply #15 on: December 04, 2014, 02:28:25 pm »
Your confusion hinges upon one thing, there being a you in everything and that you is a fiction, nonetheless a persistent fiction. Practice your breathing, deep and slow belly breathing. Confusion always precedes learning.

Love ya, Jed.

Plugturtle

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Re: Zade
« Reply #16 on: December 04, 2014, 03:56:26 pm »
what do you make of all these "fraud enlightenments"  going around?  where someone thinks theyve become enlightened and then snap out of it?  it seems to be quite common from what ive seen.  cant say i havent had it myself though :P

Jed McKenna

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Re: Zade
« Reply #17 on: December 05, 2014, 12:03:25 am »
Dear Pluggy:

Don't be concerned, it's none of your business. Focus on you.

Love ya, Jed

Plugturtle

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Re: Zade
« Reply #18 on: December 06, 2014, 01:30:27 pm »
Bit of a ramble

 :DOk so throught the past few days ive been looking to see whats actually here and its almost like im actually stepping back and just watching as thoughts and words and images and all sorts of things are happening but there not all happening theres just a sort of whole without outlines, things become pretty clear in these moments. This happend a few months ago i believe where i was in a crystal clear experience where no questions were waiting everything sort of slipped into place. I feel im wasting time looking back on this though as whenever i do this i end up procrastinating and enertaining myself elsewhere with stupid activities.
          im scared of losing everything i have and as im writzing this i actually see the sillynessmof that because i dont have anything to lose obviously. But if i dont keep grounded i dunno where id end up. Pretty scary to risk something thats so big in my life. But what im thinking of as being bad right now in reality really isnt that bad at all. I mean the thought of an experience comes with an opinion aswell which is just linked to other opinions but not related to the actual experience itself. No experience can really be distinguished from another unless it comes with an opinion which is based of other opinions.

Jed McKenna

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Re: Zade
« Reply #19 on: December 07, 2014, 02:01:19 am »
Sounds fine to me.
'

Love ya, Jed.

Plugturtle

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Re: Zade
« Reply #20 on: December 07, 2014, 04:20:10 am »
simple but perfect advice, to get past my stone in the road i just had to relax for a moment instead of rack my thoughts for an answer i just had to relax and see my thought process as it is,  an imaginary thought although im still linking the thoughts ti some emotions and that must be whats keeping me grounded as ego. but then im identifying with this thought process.  wow  theres actually alot of poopoo in my head.

Plugturtle

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Re: Zade
« Reply #21 on: December 07, 2014, 12:47:04 pm »
i find it very hard to get myself to do things these days. i feel i should be doing something but i cant figure out what. i always get into these lazy,  do nothing mindsets where i feel kinda lost and empty and then i see things clearly and in no time im lost again. no idea where im going with all this and i dont know if im even making any progress.  you say in your book that you should be able to look back and see how far youve come and see all the bs youve discarded but i cant see anything that ive achieved.  theres literally nothing to show for myself but theres still a me.  i dont know what me is  but theres this really strong belief that if i dont look after me there will be chaos and ill just end up at Rock bottom.

 am i wasting my time jed?
  i dont know if it's easy to tell from your end of things exactly what's going on in my mind but I've tried to explain.

Plugturtle

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Re: Zade
« Reply #22 on: December 07, 2014, 01:11:35 pm »
 how can there not be a me, how else would this be typed? i am the one making this typing happen, i cant get my head around it. if i had an explanation for why i didnt exist would that even make me think that i didnt exist because that explanation would leave a product. it would leave a belief and beliefs determine how we think not what we see. so how the **** am i supposed to see what im already seeing. i know its supposed to be simple but its really not jumping out at me. you say theres no me but how can that be true. i cant comprehend it, i dont see me as my beliefs and my hobbys or any of that. i see me as every stream of thought that i believe to be me.
finding it hard to cope with the logical mind, is there even any logic to it because im pretty sure i contradicted myself a few times there.

Plugturtle

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Re: Zade
« Reply #23 on: December 07, 2014, 01:20:03 pm »
i get quite anxious when i start doing spiritual autolyis(if thats what im doing) because i just feel like i know nothing. after reading a small amount of books on TR i had a good intellectual grasp on what it is and i can say that i want it but tbh i dont know if its even what im looking for. I want to be involved in effortless flow of experience. thats really my goal. ive experienced this before where things are just clear and non threatening. where theres nothing to lose, i want to enjoy living and not be restricted by "me".

Plugturtle

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Re: Zade
« Reply #24 on: December 08, 2014, 03:23:46 pm »
ive never known if i really want enlightenment i mean i dont even know what its lile to be enlightened.  i hope it to be better than my current living,  be more effortless,  carefree and flowing.  i want to really live and experience real life.  by real life i mean whats actually real.  i dont however want it so bad that id go downstairs and shoot everyone in my family. ive felt pushed towards enlightenment before but ive never been pushed so far that the ball has kept rolling.  i get pushed into a corner i escape the corner by autolysis and than im left back to stationary mode.  its when im in bad situations that i can rise above but only for so long,  once i rise above something( see it for what it is)  i chill out and revert back to ordinary sleep mode.  is there any way to actually just plow the f**k through it without making so many stops?  any way to get the same push that i get in bad situations into my good situations,  because when im happy i dont want anything that bad.

Jed McKenna

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Re: Zade
« Reply #25 on: December 10, 2014, 09:45:37 am »
Got it, now further.

Love ya, Jed.

Plugturtle

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Re: Zade
« Reply #26 on: December 10, 2014, 10:08:36 am »
What exactly is the first Step Jed?

Jed McKenna

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Re: Zade
« Reply #27 on: December 10, 2014, 10:40:24 am »
Let's keep it simple. You showed up here... we could call that the first step.

Love ya, Jed.

Plugturtle

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Re: Zade
« Reply #28 on: December 11, 2014, 01:49:39 pm »
feel like im seeing through a load of bullshit for the first time in a long while

Plugturtle

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Re: Zade
« Reply #29 on: December 11, 2014, 01:56:51 pm »
i can now attempt to view experience as it is without overlayed beliefs.  still alot of identification happening but i can enter this more authentic view where there is experience or consciousness as it is and if a thought arises and i see it for what it is and i can remain in this way for a short while but im still here note and those moments don't last nearly as long as normal me is operating .
« Last Edit: December 11, 2014, 03:23:02 pm by Plugturtle »