Hi Jed,
A couple of questions have popped up and my hope is that you can provide me with some insight.
1. Let's start with the most serious one: Looking back I see now that what fueled my search for enlightenment was a deep seated sort of demon/pain-body thing. In a way it always felt like it was burried under many layers, like it was really far away yet extremely accute. Now I feel like I have digged all the way down through all sorts of crap to the very source of it. But now I am stuck here. It really feels like a demon has his teeth in my legs and is constantly pulling me down and never letting go, which makes everyday life a drag. Now I know that this is a great opportunity, but I'm afraid that if I immerse myself fully in the pain I will go further than I had intended. I very much think that this is one of those demons that can throw me off this cliff that you talk about. And I am definitely not ready for that. Maybe some day, but I really just want to have a few years of living a normal life, being myself, having experiences. I mean, I am still so young. All the work I have done I did in order to clean out the prism of self, not to get rid of the prism altogether. So the least I should get is a couple of years as my self, right?
So what choice do I have? Well, I thought that maybe the pain I am feeling has nothing to with psychological pain, maybe there is just something wrong with my brain? Maybe the best thing would be to see a psychiatrist so that he can prescribe me some pills that balance out whatever inbalance there is and all will be good. I'm also thinking that I don't have to take them indefinitely. I could just take them for a few years, enjoy the
**** out of my life, have realtionships, get educated etc. and then I stop taking them, immerse myself in the pain, accumulate enough dissatisfaction to jump off the cliff and then that's that.
So that's pretty much what's been going on in my mind. Am I an absulute lunatic? Am I just fooling myself by thinking that the first step is that imminent? Is my plan just really stupid? Could it work?
2. In your newest book, Jed Talks #1, you say that you can name about a dozen living poeple who are awake and you would estimate that there are about two dozen alive today. That seems to be a really low number to me. I mean, in Damnedest you said that you can account for about 1-2 cases of enlightenment a year. So what, you only taught for 5 years? And also the whole thing with this forum and navigator series and what not....it just strikes me as very strange that you only know of twelve cases of spiritual enlighenment, but what do I know.
Anyway, thank you for your time and all that you do.
Love, E