Author Topic: Lionox  (Read 1070 times)

lionix

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Re: Lionox
« on: July 02, 2015, 11:13:59 am »
Hi jed, thanks. And i mean thanks really.
Sorry for my previous question, I was somewhat a vague without any foundation. I’m currently swallowing it all up and try(just do it) not to come up with more question than needed.
The past years I was really stuck on this journey, and the advice u gave me (ignoring experiences good or bad) and words from your book actually snapped all the strings I had with my past teachings/teachers and believes in a matter of days (it literally snapped without any resistance). This process was good, i know this.
The past years i have been living in this void and meditated on too much bull****(like what karma means, non attachment and other stuff just to temporarily chase a different state) instead of seeing the bigger picture. I see it now, i sure do, but still not there yet. I also see that i’m in this body with all the emotions, drama, psychical pain and strength and no amount of meditation or drugs(didn’t try that) will enable truth realization. I know this also. These things will just cure a few unpleasant symptoms at best. I also see myself play the drama called life. I knew about this 10 years ago as a concept, but now I actually see it for what it is. Automatically this brings a kind of ‘flow’ state with it but i'm not after that. Flow is just a cool byproduct. I had periods of depression before, and i still do. Yesterday evening I was ‘in’ it. Normally I would do ‘stuff’ to fix this issue, but not this time. I looked at it. I tried to answer questions about it. And finally I asked what u talk about...What is truth...What is this… And who am I. And who feels depressed. After a while of cutting...these questions I cannot answer... every time I come out to just empty. Absolutely nothing, and no thoughts about what this nothing might be. Empty as empty something can be. The day after I continued your book and strangely u open the subject about depression and this state of depression is actually the void. When not afraid, why try to escape it?
What my real question is: U say turning 180 degrees from what I’m doing now. But how do i know i didn’t turn 360 degrees? How do I know i arrived at the startline?
« Last Edit: July 02, 2015, 11:16:43 am by lionix »