Author Topic: Lionox  (Read 1086 times)

lionix

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Re: Lionox
« Reply #15 on: June 14, 2016, 11:10:20 am »
I am walking in the same damn circle. I call it the Lionix 5 step program: In my case:
1.   Going back to old teachers hoping i get ‘more’ out of it. They bore me out so up to step 2
2.   Finding old or new hobbies sports to ‘be’ IN the world again instead of zombie mode. This always turns out bad because there is no drive anymore so up to step 3
3.   Say the f word to spirituality and drink alcohol and buzz the brain out for comfort
4.   Finding ways to quit the alcohol again and knowing it’s meaningless in the end so keep on drinking
5.   Spam here

And every time the process is more and more not serious compared to what it was before. The funny thing is, every time the step between step 4 and 5 something is (un)learned. Laying in my bed(sober) staring at the wall not thinking, or not trying to ‘find’ something, makes more sense compared to 2 hours of insight meditation. It’s a sort of contentment, but it difficult to explain in words because it doesnt feel good or bad. what’s further, rince and repeat?