Dear Confused Russian Person called Pavel:
Thank you for your email. Is there any way back? Only if you want to live a lie, lead a life of quiet desperation and generally be a zombie. Hey, I didn't promise I would be sweet and rosy. Significant accomplishments requires significant work and usually some very real sacrifice. Permit me to hit you between the eyes with my best Systema punch.... if you lose you family they were not worth keeping... if you lose you country it was not worth keeping... if you lose your friends they were not worth keeping... if you lose yourself, now you have really found something of value.
But, do not follow me or anyone else. Think for yourself... be intelligent and never ever believe anything because nothing is true or real... until...
Love ya, Jed.