Author Topic: mattj  (Read 572 times)

mattj

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 25
Re: mattj
« Reply #15 on: November 14, 2014, 11:34:35 am »
Expressing is easy enough (assuming taking several hours over a period of days is easy)... now to push it down to the (non)marrow...

So one point of resistance is with the ego/personality itself. Fighting it, it grows stronger. But letting it blah blah, it tends to unspool as is its nature.

A question: the more letting go, the less I feel the need to do anything, including spiritual investigation/practice. I don't want to drift back into sleepiness until suffering arises again. How do I stay motivated with the lessening of desire? Or does it even matter, as whatever unfolds as it does?



Jed McKenna

  • Administrator
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 15127
Re: mattj
« Reply #16 on: November 14, 2014, 12:14:35 pm »
You tell me, does it really matter?

Love ya, Jed.

mattj

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 25
Re: mattj
« Reply #17 on: November 16, 2014, 08:12:44 am »
There is no good answer to that question.  ;D

mattj

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 25
Re: mattj
« Reply #18 on: November 17, 2014, 10:45:29 am »
Another buried assumption: submitting to the truth means trusting in the truth, or some higher power, or something. I think, how can I surrender to what is happening, when I might get hurt? I don't mind when bliss unfolds and spiritual teachings magically appear at the right time, but what about cancer striking down my family or getting my face smashed in a car accident?

But the problem is, there is no other game in town. I can only resist, I can never escape because there is no where else to go.

Jed McKenna

  • Administrator
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 15127
Re: mattj
« Reply #19 on: November 18, 2014, 10:14:10 am »
Dear Mattj;

What if, what it, what if, WTF. I have one for you, what if nothing ever happened and all your worry was for naught. Wouldn't you feel like a right idiot. You can only escape to 'you'. No where else to go, in fact, there is no where to go at all. Never was. Where you not always exactly where you are right now? Contemplate, or wash the dishes.

Love ya, Jed.

mattj

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 25
Re: mattj
« Reply #20 on: November 22, 2014, 07:02:26 am »
A few things have come into focus based on that last message:

Yes, it all happens in me (or not me). There is only mind (or experience or whatever I want to call it). It changes.  It is strange because I can see that space is in mind, but mind doesn't hang in some sort of metaspace. The idea of external space is just that: an idea. So is the idea of dividing this mind into two: me and not me, or outside and inside.

There is a limit to mind/experience/me. I cannot say what is beyond this, or if there is even a beyond. I can easily make different stories: there is a vast material world, there is nothing, there is the Mind of God, but I can't verify them.



mattj

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 25
Re: mattj
« Reply #21 on: November 24, 2014, 01:26:18 pm »
I now see there is a lot of wasted time and energy about what happens outside the limits of experience. It is ironic because what I can know and what I cannot know should seem obvious.

What I know is what is going on here/now. What is unknown is everything else. The only way to know something is to bring it within "me". While somewhat liberating, it is also kind of a downer; like being in a prison with no walls. However, the upshot is I have more time/energy to spend exploring the here/now. 



Jed McKenna

  • Administrator
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 15127
Re: mattj
« Reply #22 on: November 25, 2014, 05:04:16 am »
Dear M:

What I know is what is going on here/now.

Do you really, or are you just living in the mental concepts and thoughts of what you think is going on here and no? Do you know where 'here' is, really? How about when 'now' is?

I don't have a clue about these two. But I can make up some wonderful stories and incorporate here/now, when and where I want.

Love ya, Jed.

mattj

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 25
Re: mattj
« Reply #23 on: December 01, 2014, 12:09:16 pm »
Jed,

I feel that I see where this is all going. But I cannot deny THIS. By this, I mean whatever --- looking around, feeling, thinking, etc. I can argue about what this means, but I can't argue with what is.

How do you pull the rug out of experience itself? What am I clinging to?

Matt

Jed McKenna

  • Administrator
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 15127
Re: mattj
« Reply #24 on: December 02, 2014, 01:41:33 am »
 ;)

mattj

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 25
Re: mattj
« Reply #25 on: December 10, 2014, 02:41:17 pm »
Nothing I say, think, label, or do can make the true false or the false true.

Jed McKenna

  • Administrator
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 15127
Re: mattj
« Reply #26 on: December 10, 2014, 09:43:29 pm »
Dear Mat:

Nothing you can say can make anything, periods. Words are nothing at all and have no power.

Love ya, Jed.

mattj

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 25
Re: mattj
« Reply #27 on: December 12, 2014, 10:16:56 am »
You're right on the point that it is hard to push "non-belief" into the bones. Although I have found it is helpful to watch this stuff as it comes up, and really push into it.

But there's a part of me that doesn't give a $&!% about any problems at all. Probably because they aren't really problems, they are only problems from a smaller point of view.

mattj

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 25
Re: mattj
« Reply #28 on: December 15, 2014, 12:21:18 pm »
When I look to things, I see me. When I look to me, I see bright nothing. Inside this me-space things form and unform, including the "me." 

Last night, when the stress came, I let them come. They are either me, or just fleeting energies, so what's the harm? No thought, word, or deed will change what they are. And who knows, maybe it will be a good thing. Maybe these emotions just need to come out, or burn up attachments, or do whatever.

So I just hosted them. My body felt hot. My stomach twisted and burned. Panicky thoughts started to come. So I let them be what they were, and remained present.

And what happened? They hung around for a while and then dissolved. No harm to the me-space. 

Jed McKenna

  • Administrator
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 15127
Re: mattj
« Reply #29 on: December 15, 2014, 01:53:44 pm »
Yes, nothing can harm the 'me-space', as you aptly put it.

Love ya, Jed.