Pretty much finishing up your second book and I'm passed the part where you were talking about the movies the graduate, cast away and about schmidt. I can't help but resonate with everything youve talked about..I'm Ben..young..nothing really to lose like a flower that gets plucked out of the ground..my roles were'nt fully clothed so it was pretty easy to take off..so here I am..pretty much contextless I'd say..
My days of living have been fairly simple. I eat, sleep, and continue to play my role as the seeker although I am starting to see through it.. What now? What artifical context am I going to play in this life? I see two paths I could take..I am nearing the end of my college career. The first 3 years have been hell. I was a nobody in my major. I guess to people I was just that kid but now its pretty exiciting to see that all change. I've made a presence within my collegues and starting to make a name for myself. I see this as building a artifical context for this life. I've been challenged with interacting with everyone and now I'm starting to get the feel for playing a character. I'll admit I find this more exciting and enjoyable than what I've been doing for the last 3 years as this process has unfolded.
What I'm shaky about is having to move back in with my parents after college, this is not what I wnat to do at all. The emotional energy is ridicoulously toxic. To be honest, I'm afraid of that happening, not really, but really.
Right now I see two context i can play. One is what would have played out if it weren't for this T/R
****. The other is more exicitng and entirely new life that the old me would have been fearful to pursue. F u c k. I guess I'm looking for advice on how to go about deciding..or maybe I already do and still too scared to go with it.....
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