Author Topic: Newbie  (Read 2474 times)

AZS

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Re: Newbie
« Reply #15 on: January 31, 2018, 07:12:36 am »

Yesterday also what was seen is that when a few years ago I saw that everything is a belief, the character, very conveniently was not put in that category and so the story of the only true thing (ie the character) searching for itself began (haha – now it’s quite funny and incredible actually!). It’s like the character was a sort of a blind spot. When this was seen yesterday, for a few moments the point of reference apparently located in the body kind of fell away and it felt very very disorienting. I cannot say where it went because it wasn’t really located anywhere as such. I then had one of those experiences where my mind was like: “I am dying!” and I was like “ok, then, let’s die”. No death ensued of course – such a drama queen this mind of mine! Lol

At this point, there is still a searching  movement that arises from time to time - it is like something that is labelled “attention” is trying to touch the NO-THING, make it a concept, understand it, know it somehow through perception. But it’s seen through and it stops. It’s like it’s something that still has momentum but it is no longer being believed. This morning, it also has been clearly seen that ANY movement/experience of ANY sort obscures the Truth (or at least seems to). So the words I heard many many times about how the search is what perpetuates the ego really made sense at that moment.

Life IS meaningless and it IS a dream and yet starting to fully integrate this insight has me want to participate in it more because there is truly nothing to lose and nothing to gain! Further..