INVISIBLE GURU FORUM

Hi Jed,
What did you mean "many folks have simply too much emotional pain, and that saps energy and focus. So, searching can assist on in that." ?

It sounds like you're talking about healing...?
I feel like I have a lot of emotional pain, and its always seemed that way despite not knowing what it is or why its there. Ive spent a lot of energy over the years 'healing' in order to try and function better, but even 'healing' was extremely stressful.
I know in some yoga practices i've done that meditation and breathing techniques are said to purify the nervous system, kind of to clear the emotional or karmic debris (but i dont really know or understand it that much).
But I feel a conflict with the non dual 'no self' and then 'healing' or growth. It seems that skipping to 'but i dont exist' can be repressive and be counterproductive?

Over the last few months i have to admit my brain has gone to mush. It really hard to form thoughts or ideas or make sense of things. Its not a feeling of 'awakening' or 'clarity' or anything like that. I feel like im becoming really dumb, when i used to think i was intellectual and sharp. Through doing Scott Kiloby's enquiries recently ive realised that i dont release or feel things fully on the physical level, only conceptually, so maybe im going through a big release of pent up 'feeling' (without the stories attached) that is muddling me..
So there arent clear questions in here but if you could please clear up what you meant, thankyou

Its been a few weeks since ive written in here. I felt the need to 'stop' and just be alive so I did. My brain felt like mush during any kind of inquiry and when i asked questions i couldn't understand the words anymore. They were flat and without meaning, just like images of letters. It didn't seem like a conscious decision but more like an arising of 'stop'. But it also occurred to me it may be the ultimate Maya distraction technique, its true that I fell asleep as soon as i read your words "maya will want you to take a nap right about now". haha! But either way i did it.
Its interesting to me that in this time everything just flowed, things came to my attention and all conversations were connected, it felt like i had released the tiller. Before it felt like i was trying not to live, in fear i'd fall back into distraction. But that was also a form of resistance to what is. I ended up being led to exercises of integrating my emotional body. Im not sure where it fits into the scheme of things, but it helped me to drop my stories about blaming my parents/others for my emotional issues & patterns, because i could see myself attaching to the thought/feeling even as a baby. And also through this i realised that even though i havent been able to let myself feel my emotions in the body, I place alot of importance on them mentally. They seem like the most significant indicator of anything in my life, the most 'real' thing even though i wasn't really feeling them. So what i did is i sensed emotions in my body and connected them to the memory of the first time i experienced it and then let myself fully feel it... but it was quite a traumatic experience in a way, i felt completely drained for days.

Is it necessary to use the memory to feel and then release the emotion? Or is awareness in your body enough?
I feel like whatever this is i've done is related to importances but i need more information. Ive read about it but its brief..

Everytime i write in the forum i feel like im dropping down an anchor point to pivot off, and its so scary because i feel im going to look around and not know where i am.! 

How many contradictions and paradoxes can you entertain. It's a pretty good measure of where you are at.

Advice, puke and get on with life.

Love ya, Jed.

Just surrender to your old life, it's no more or less valid than you current life. They are all illusory.

Love ya, Jed.

.... at the best... truthish, be you are not alone...

Love ya, Jed

Blah, blah, blah, blah and more blah, blah.

Put up or shut up (said with profound love and respect)

Jed.

Talk later...

Love ya, Jed.