Is pursuit of mystical experience a distraction, or does it not really matter?
I've been stuck recently trying to determine where I am on the map. I see the patterns in the experiences of those who "get it" and I've had glimpses of getting it (Everything felt correct, and I could tell what was true, I felt), but those experiences have passed and I'm back to feeling the way I did, but now think every day on what I should be doing, from nothing to everything. I occasionally get a rush/tingle of truth, but it's nothing like what I experienced before, when I "knew."
I seem to be always stuck between two options, uncertain. I see signs all the time, but am left wondering where they lead, or if they are the fabric of desperation to make progress. It's like I'm playing tricks on myself but I can't tell where the trick begins.
So the question that remains is: Do I need to pinpoint my location on the map to determine the next step, or just keep hacking away? I feel restless with in-betweenness.
Thanks for reading.