Author Topic: penks  (Read 2112 times)

penks1988

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penks
« on: September 10, 2014, 01:53:10 pm »
 Hey, guys. I wrote Jed some e-mails recently, and he suggested joining this forum and posting here, so this is our conversation until now: I wanted to understand if I'm waking up somehow, or if I'm dreaming that I'm waking up or idk... so I wrote Jed:

hey jed, i read your books, but there is something im not sure i understand. you talk about awakening from the dreamstate, awakening in the dreamstate, and taking The First Step. are awakening in the dreamstate and The First Step the same thing? do they both lead to awakening from the dreamstate? how can i tell if ive took The First Step or im just awakening in the dreamstate or im not actually doing anything in particular?

So Jed wanted to know why do I ask, and this is what my story looks like: (I will try to do some editing and add some points in the bottom, so Jed, you might want to scroll thru it again, if you feel like it, thanks)


Hi man...

 I will tell you why I'm asking. It's because something is happening to me, and I want to know what is it. In fact, I want to know if something is really happening, or if I'm just dreaming that something is happening, I can't seem to be able to tell for myself...
 So... I guess I will just tell you, and see what happens. I have never put the whole story together before, so I don't know how long or coherent it will turn out to be, but anyway, here it is.

 So... Everything started like... 10 months ago. No, it may be started last couple of years, when I had some periods that I was reaaaaally really depressed... like... sometimes without a reason even... or I couldn't find the reason. idk.
Life was just getting weirder for me, and I had 2 unsuccessful relationships, lets say with girfriend1 and girlfriend2, that you will see below. So, instead of loving those people, it was more like I was addicted to them... and when things didn't work out, I was cast in those huge depressive periods, that I couldn't get out of, because i was clinging to those people like crazy. So, 10 months ago from now, when the second relationship was over with gf2, something happened. Two things happened, and I don't really remember which came first and which second. One was like a realization, a realization that I was a huuuge coward, like I've always been scared of everything my whole life, and I always worried and thought too much about everything and always desparately clung to everything. And with that came the second things, which was like... I felt a huge peace, like a great relieve of something. And I was... amazed, I was blown away by this feeling, it was overwhelming me. I was going to buy something to eat, and I was walking the streets in this quiet amazement, and I would think to myself: "Okay. What happened? Why do I feel like this? What has changed? What is different?" and all the answers that I could give to myself were: "Nothing has changed, everything is absolutely, completely normal. Everything is how it should have always been. How was I not able to see that before, how was I not able to see things like this before? This is how it should have always been, this is what being a normal person is." And, it felt like, after all the times before in my life that I had tried to change, it was the first time that I actually didn't feel changed. I felt utterly, completely normal. And I was just blown away all the time, how could I have never been like this before.

 So, a friend of mine is writing me e-mails at that time, and this is a short version of our conversation: i will copy the text from the actual e-mails we exchanged.

she's like "how are you"
and im: " im good. ive been trying to meditate lately and i figured out amazing stuff about myself...
 and about *girlfriend2* too, if you want to know..."
"i feel really good lately, but not like happy, more like... more complete, thoughtful and like that... i kinda got to know myself better...
im still gloomy tho :)
 and you? "


and she is like: "what things, tell me i want to know"

and this is what i wrote to her:

"i told you. nothing is wrong with her. nothing is wrong with anybody. its just me. it has always been me... ive been like this all my life... its not only about her. its about everything. school, poker, drums, everything in my life, if im so smart and talanted at everything, why havent i ever succeed in something? why havent i accomplished one single thing in my life? why didnt i become good at at least one thing? its because im a coward, im afraid of everything, im scared of commiting to everything, and thats why i never became good at anything and accomplished anything... even when all of my friends went to the USA, i was the only one who didnt go... because i was so scared of it!!! and the thing is, i never realised it, i always found some made-up reasons for myself to believe in, not to admit to myself that im such a coward, like the things i have told you about *girfriend2*, how i convinced myself and you that she sux, when she is actually amazing and she has always been amazing to me and treated me in ways i didnt even deserve, and now you hate her, and you dont even know her, you havent even seen her but you hate her because of some stupid lies i made up just not wanting to believe that she could be real because i was so afraid of commiting to her... [...] dont be so stubborn, open your eyes... it has always been me...

 but i feel like i can change, i need to change, i dont want to be a coward anymore, and my website that im now lunching is the first thing i think can be really big for me and meaningfull, and i cant be afraid to do it anymore, so im working now on it with all my energy :)"

 
[...] and then, 20 minutes later I wrote another e-mail:

"gosh, even with *girfriend1*, i chased her away too, becayse i was so scared!!! jesus... everywhere in my life when i look back on now, this can explain everything that has ever happened to me...
its like the grand unified theory of the universe that the physicists are looking for and cant find out, this is the grand unified theory of my life, that puts everything together and can explain everything that ever happened to me... and i dont know how you look at this, but it feels really important to me, ive been crying yesterday and today all day and this is just overwhelming me....
 and about *girlfriend2*, its the first time i had someone in my life, that was actually worth loving and worth fighting for... and i just got scared again and ran away... and i came up with those lies about her to make myself feel better, and i did feel better, but not because she was not worth it, but just because it was choking my fears and i felt better and releaved... but it was just a lie to myself and to her and to you. she was always worth it and i just got scared and ran away... "



.

So, the story kinda continues from there, after I wrote those e-mails, I started to see fear everywhere, I everything that I had ever done, and in everything that I was doing even right now, I just... all I could see was fear everywhere. And in that state, I really felt like... kinda fearless, not like wreckless, but like... idk. Just all my resistance to everything was just... gone. Like... I was gone. Not that I realized that at the time, that came later, but I'll get to that if I may. :) SO, in that state that I ended up being in, the fearless state, I had only one fear left. The fear that I'm going to lose it. That I will lose this new way of being, and I will collapse back to my old state of being. And this fear was slowly creeping and creeping on me, and I finally really lost it, like 1 week later. So this whole thing only lasted for a week, but here is some more examples to what it was like: first of all, talking to my friends was really weird, they would say something, and then, instead of me saying something stupid back, and then think "why the **** did i say that for?" and be embarrased or ashamed or regret it or whatever, they would say something and i would say something really cool and adequate, and then, usually at that time a thought would follow that was like "good job, man, you nailed that, that was some good **** you said", but that thought didn't follow either. Instead I would just say something really... normal... and then I would just sit there in quiet amazement of everything that was flying out of my own mouth, just somehow quietly watching it, wondering what happened to me that I was being so normal, and why wasn't I like that my whole life? :) Everything I did was so effortless, and another example that struck me was, when with my friends, they offered me some joint to smoke, and I had no resistance to that either, but it wasn't like I realized that I had no resistance, but it was more like I realized how I always had so much resistance before, that it wasn't really necessary, and I did all kinds of **** while stoned, I wend to the groceries, talked to my mom on the phone, chatted with my friends, replied to some comments on youtube, usually all kinds of stuff I would NEVER consider doing before while stoned, there was no paranoia, no unpleasant feelings, no feeling that "they would know i'm high" ... all of that was gone, and everything was so normal, and I would just sit back in this quiet amazement of everything that was happening, and in that week, everything changed in my daily life, they way I practiced music on my instrument, the plans I made, ****, even the way i read books and the way i ****ing cut tomatoes for my salad changed... and I could very clearly see how I was never like that before because I was so scared of everything. So, anyway, I can go on like this for pages, describing what it was, i can ****ing write a whole book just about the **** that happened to me in that week, how my life was turned upside down and inside outs. But eventually it was over in a week and before Christmas, I was back in the depression again. And I didn't know what happened to me that week, I had never read anything spiritual back then, I had no explanation, I just remembered it like the... normalest normal week that I ever had in my whole life. And I hoped it would come back, but it didn't, and I tried to act fearless again, but I couldn't, because I felt it just wasn't right, it wasn't natural, I was acting like an fearless wannabe, instead of really being it. I hadn't done anything specific in particular before that week came, besides I was just starting to try to meditate, but I wasn't particularly good at it, and didn't know what was the point of meditation or how to do it, I just thought it was cool and somehow wanted to do it :)

So, anyway, that "normal week" was over, and I went on with my life, thinking about it but not really being able to explain to myself what it was and trying to be this fearless wannabe started to feel more and more hard and unnatural.

 Then, 5 months later, I came to a book by Eckhart Tolle, who said "everything you think is not real, and everything you ever thought of yourself is not real, and you are ultimately not real, the "you" that you think of yourself as you, is just a product of your imagination." And then it just struck me, that that was actually true. I don't know, it just made sense to me. Then I felt somewhat excited by the thought that I was not actually what I thought I was, and I was always nothing in particular, just a compilation of thoughts that I had about myself. I never realized before in my life, that I'm not that voice in my head, I never wondered if I'm the guy who makes the thoughts or if I'm the guy who is listening to them. So it became obvious to me, that Tolle was right, but his solution to the problem was kinda simple: "Just stop thinking!", he would say. So, at that point, I learned that enlightenment existed and I started to wonder what it's like, I thought it's that - just not thinking. If you stop thinking - you are enlightened. So I tried, really hard, not to thinking about anything :D All kinds of **** will happen and I will be like "act enlightened, don't think about it, act enlightened, don't think about it..." And now I realize that I was just crazily denying everything around me, instead of accepting it, so I spend around 2 months in that state, and I thought that I was happy, I even thought I had never been happier before, and then all the thoughts that I had denying and pushed back all the way just crushed over me and flooded me, and I was desparately depressed again. But the realization that I was not my thoughts was left there, inside me, and it was killing me, I didn't know what I was, who I was, I didn't know who was it that was thinking the thoughts in my head, and the thoughts were killing me, I didn't know what I was supposed to do, I couldn't do anything, because I felt like nothing had a point, and I was just imagining the point in everything and it was ultimately a lie and it wasn't true. So the next 1 month was so bad, that I literary couldn't take it anymore. I was so depressed, that living seemed just too hard of a thing to do, I decided I wasn't good at it, and I did't want to do it anymore, every moment that I wasn't sleeping was an endless struggle for me. I did't want to die, but I just didn't want to live anymore... It was too hard and had no point. I started clinging to everything, somehow desparately trying to save my self, to food, healthy eating, working out, smoking, drinking, music, everything. Eventually I got eating disorders, couldn't stop smoking, hated working out, hated music, hated everything, everything felt like a lie to me, and I couldn't see the point in anything. I continued reading books, trying to explain things to myself. Then I started reading your books, and other authors I like, like Adyashanti, Alen Watts, and others, and [ I even read somewhere, that you and Adyashanti were actually the same person :D ], umm, sooo... I started to get some real understanding on what enlightenment was like, and I think now that it was more like what happened to me 10 months ago, in this "normalest normal" week that I ever had, where everything was how it should have always been, instead of this Eckhart Tolle don't-think-and-you-are-enlightened thing, that felt really unnatural.

 So... I don't know how to continue... I guess this is where I am right now. I don't know who I am, I don't know what is real, I can't believe and trust anybody, not even my own thoughts, I question every thought that I have and it's starting to kill me again. I'm reading your books, and I understand what you are talking about, and I like it, and it's making me feel better, but I don't know if I'm singing myself again to sweet dreams, or if I'm actually waking up? So...yeah. That's why I was asking. :D



p.s. I can't do spiritual autolysis, tho :/
I try, but I don't know what to write about, and nothing comes out when I sit down writing...
 

p.p.s. one of the biggest realizations that i had in that quiet week, was that i was afraid of everything, but instead of admitting it to myself, i always made up this lies about the situation, and believing them, not wanting to admit that i was such a coward. even now, when you started writing me back, i felt this voice in my head, telling me "hey, man. don't write this guy. this is bull****, you will be fine. things are getting better, don't write him!" but now i don't trust that voice, so i guess im just scared of you!! i am. :/ thats why it took me a whole week to write you back, because i was resisting it so much. i cant live like that anymore, being scared of everything, and making this crazy lies about everything just to sooth myself. i want to break thru to the other side, i want to see what real life is. i feel like there is no way back for me, but i cant go further either... i guess im stuck :/


  the things i wanted to add: I don't really care about enlightenment. I don't even know what it is. I don't care about anything spiritual in particular, I'm not really a spiritual guy, I'm not seeking anything spiritual, or trying to become enlightened master and save the world or whatever. I just don't want to live like a coward anymore. And the thing is, I didn't know that I was a coward, until I had this one week of realization, where I couldn't see anything else but fear in all my life until that point. Now I'm back to being a coward again and not knowing it, I can't see fear anywhere now, but it's maybe what Jed said in SIE: "I coudn't see fear, because I couldn't see anythings that's not fear."
May be it's that, idk, I just want to get out, I want to get rid of this fear that is killing me and just... be myself for 5 goddamn minutes in my life... I can't live like a coward anymore, now that I know other way of living exists. I don't want to wait to be on my deathbed waiting to die, to realize that I never really lived.
« Last Edit: September 11, 2014, 04:19:58 am by penks1988 »

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Jed McKenna

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Re: penks
« Reply #1 on: September 12, 2014, 03:27:45 am »
Hi Penks:

You a coward eh, well I flat out don't believe you. You may be afraid of some things, but really who isn't. I'm not crazy about heights, or maybe I would say not crazy about falling from heights.

Do you have any idea how many lurkers are reading all the post here and wish they had the guts to bare themselves like you and other members. I call B.S. and command you to prove it to, not just me, the whole world.

STOP BEING A COWARD ABOUT BEING SUCH A COWARD. You have yet to really explore cowardice. I want to be able to Wiki the word 'coward' next week and find you name in the article. I'm not joking. I want you to wake up tomorrow and be such a G.D. coward that you are afraid to take your first breath. Remember also that cowards are too s. scared to even dream so make sure you don't do that.

Then for at least an hour I want you to lie in bed and INTENTIONALLY think cowardly thought. Christ you probably live on top of a sink hole waiting to suck you in. Boogie men under the bed??? Yeh, you have droves of them, like the Hells Angels of boogie men. (of course I just gave it away, H/A doesn't mean what you think).

Frigging breakfast is probably full of ABCD and E coli, and salmonella to the hilt. You can look at it if you have the guts,  but can't eat it cause you don't have the courage to.

You are compelled to do the following and don't have the guts to deny me, no one what that much guts. Every move you make for one day is so full of fear that you don't make it. You keep perfectly still as any good coward would do... afraid that any move will snap your fragile bones and by the way, that isn't a zit on your neighbor's cheek, it's the big 'E', you know what that because you're beginning to see symptoms all around you, folks that don't even know they have it. Forget about AIDS and HIV, everyone has already got that.

You can now only speak to folks via reflections in a mirror alla Howard Hughes, he was a chicken **** but nothing compared to you. And don't use that phone, people will send diseases and reject you by SMS, especially mental ones.

You can't trust anyone, especially yourself, and then there is me. I set this forum up just for you, no one else (that's actually true). I knew you would come to me and I wanted to point out that cowards don't come to me. I wanted you catch you at your game. Your little b.s. story doesn't fool me. I just don't fool that easily, well there was one time.

If you want, I will delete you from the forum. Your have your nerve coming here and setting a courageous example for other gutless wonders to follow. Blowing my WHOLE program out of the water.

I wanted to start a local branch of  CA, (Cowards Anon, sometime abbrev. KOAN by our Russian Comrades, but they don't have many members as they are pretty nervie folks) but no one had the guts to show up at a meeting. I guess they thought they would have to share. I was going to have silent meetings and everyone share psychically. No problem.

To be honest, I was a little nervous about the psychic com thing myself.

So, there you  are, and if you go and prove me wrong or make me look stupid, a thousand camels will **** on your tent, and your dates will fall from the tree and be eaten by monkeys. (you know I've been watching NatGeoWild, I think).

Remember, to join my cut of gutless wonders, you must first follow my directives to a 't'. Of course, after that you can drink some cool-aid, but that really takes guts and only selected members get to do that.

Now pick yourself up and get out there and do absolutely nothing.

I remain your friend in cowardice, Jed.

 

penks1988

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Re: penks
« Reply #2 on: September 12, 2014, 04:05:54 am »
****. :D Now I'm going to read your post 10 times a day for like a week, and if it still makes absolutely no sense to me, I will have to write you again :D

penks1988

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Re: penks
« Reply #3 on: September 15, 2014, 10:47:21 am »
  Meanwhile... I've been thinking about your experiment. I look at anything and wonder how do I know it is not me? I can't get to anything "spiritual", tho, all I was able to come up with are some scientific thoughts on the matter: The energy never dies, right? Basic rule of physics. Just transforms from one form to another. So, when the Universe began, all the energy that ever was, was created all at once, in an instant, and will remain to be until the Universe ends. So this energy transformed from gas to rocks to bla bla bla to eventually "me", but it's the same energy that was created when the Universe began, and it's the same energy that gradually transforms into everything else. Like, me and my Coke can, are both different transformations of this same energy. Can this be a proof that me and my coke can are not different things? Or is there a point to the experiment that I'm missing? :)

Jed McKenna

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Re: penks
« Reply #4 on: September 15, 2014, 10:59:08 am »
You can't get to anything 'spiritual'??? What the hell are you talking about? Who suggested you should get to something 'spiritual'??? What a load of crap, I am flummoxed out of my ecologically-friendly ergonomically designed recycled sugar palm leaf 100% degradable chair. Boy, you can come up with some good ****!

Yes, you missed the point of the experiment. The point is there is no point. Clear? Got it?

Now, go back and do it and don't bother me until you have the point... get my point?

Love ya (in a pointless sorta way), Jed.

penks1988

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Re: penks
« Reply #5 on: September 15, 2014, 11:41:52 am »
  Umm... what I meant was that I can deduce it intellectually and be very sympathetic to the idea, but I just can't feel it... That's what I meant by "spiritual", like possessing any kind of direct knowledge of it... I don't. Anyway... I will think about your point. :)

penks1988

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Re: penks
« Reply #6 on: September 25, 2014, 10:19:58 am »
  Hey, man...

...sorry for being so long. I wanted to finish your third book before writing you again, because whenever I felt like I had a question, I could find the answer in the book as I kept reading.

So, going back to the topic of cowardice, I wanted to expand a little more on the subject, throw some more light on what my situation is right now and see if you can guide me out of that crap.

I don't really feel like a coward. It's not that I am afraid of something in particular, or that I have cowardly thoughts, or whatever. I just saw it, man, I saw the fear that you talk about in your books, I saw it for myself, and if I hadn't I wouldn't have believed it. It's not really something that you can grasp until you see it for yourself. Because it's not actually something that you see, it's everything that you see! It was in everything that I saw, like, my entire life up until that point had just been one huge act of fear, one big product of fear-based thinking. Not like I was afraid of something and I was shaking with fear, but more like this... subtle, underline fear that you don't even know that it's there and it's controlling you. That is the ego I guess...or Maya or just the fear... It's all the same, isn't it?

 Anyway, I read a quote somewhere that said "We've just gotten used to living in fear and don't really notice it. It's like when you sit in a quiet room with the air conditioner on - after a while you don't hear it anymore and think that it's totally silent, until it goes off and it gets really quiet. Then you realize how loud the air conditioner actually was." And that AC never stops for most people to actually notice it. They live so totally identified with their own fears, that they think it's actually who they are. You said it in your books too "Maya is the fear that permeates us so fully that we don't know it's there."

So... this is what enlightenment is like? It's not about being courageous and brave, because that's like camouflage over fear, like acting in spite of fear, not without it. Enlightenment is like... leap beyond fear. Stop generating it. That part of you that generates the fear just dies. I've even watched about it in a video about enlightenment and the brain, like some brain science video, that shows what actually happens physically inside the brain during enlightenment. There is this part of the brain that generates fear that is like a chamber, that just gets like... isolated. Just gets sealed, and nothing comes out of it anymore. I will attach the name of the video on youtube in case someone is interested in watching it, its called "3 Enlightenment, Self, and the Brain. How the brain changes with final liberation".


Anyway! Back to the topic - that's what happened to me. My air conditioner just stopped for a second, and then I realized just how loud it was, and how fear was in complete control over my life. And if I only knew about SA at that point, I could have written pages, I swear, like hundreds of pages... I didn't know that **** was supposed to get out of my system, like flow on paper or something. My only real writings were those spontaneous e-mails I wrote to my friend, that I have posted in my first post, but that's it, isn't it? That's real spiritual autolysis. The only one I have ever done. Not the **** that I'm doing right now, that's just gibberish. I can't do it now, I just don't see anything. I sit in front of this white sheet and just nothing comes out. Like I'm trying to puke, shoving my fingers in my mouth, but nothing comes out...

 sooo... that's about whats been going on with me. I have the AC now running back with full power, and I have totally identified with it again... Any ideas how to stop it, or just turn it down just the tinniest bit, so I could start using the SA again?


 Thanks, Jed.


Jed McKenna

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Re: penks
« Reply #7 on: September 25, 2014, 10:37:09 am »
Just sit quietly, breath gently and welcome everything. That's all for now.

Love ya, Jed.

penks1988

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Re: penks
« Reply #8 on: September 25, 2014, 10:44:53 am »
  Umm, also, something I forgot to ask you, you talked about taming personal demons in your book, those voices inside your head that seem to have mind of their own, and I'm not really sure I got your point there :/ You said that we shouldn't really spend much time fighting them, but try   to transcend them. Like get out of the sewers, instead of keep fighting with them inside. So how do you actually do that, because I have some of the demons now, like I got smoking cigarettes, that seems to have voice of its own, I have like an ex girlfriend's voice, a little eating disorder, and now I feel like all this enlightenment thing is starting to form a demon of its own. So how do I proceed with those?

Jed McKenna

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Re: penks
« Reply #9 on: September 25, 2014, 11:37:25 am »
You only feel what you resist. Back to my previous post. Warmly welcome them. Set up a birthday party or the like for each one and thank them for all they have to teach you. Love them with no thought to destroying them. I can tell you what will happen, but you have to find that yourself.

love ya, Jed.,

penks1988

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Re: penks
« Reply #10 on: September 26, 2014, 08:26:15 am »
  hey Jed... thanks. I will be doing my best on this now. But I have some other thoughts on my mind. Yes, obviously the resistance is the problem, and not the things themselves. But isn't that just more resistance? Resistance against the resistance? I know, I know... warm welcoming is not resistance. But the desire to lower your resistance is resistance-based, isn't it? The desire to get rid of fears is fear-based. What I'm trying to say, is that something from your first book stuck with me: It's that you shouldn't strive for the by-products of enlightenment, because that is just going to make you an enlightened-wannabe and not really wake you up. I mean, why practice detachment, when you can just wake up and there it is - detachment, can't get away from it. Why practice non-resistance, when you can just wake up and there you go - truck loads of non-resistance, and you couldn't care less about it. Isn't that the point of awakening? Focusing on the actual waking up process. Isn't focusing on the by-products only like a distraction? Because this is what I feel I have been doing. I need somehow to shift the focus to the actual process of waking up. But what the heck is that?

edit: Put it in other words - acceptance is not something that you do - it's something that happens to you when you do something else - i.e. wake up.
« Last Edit: September 26, 2014, 04:06:41 pm by penks1988 »

Jed McKenna

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Re: penks
« Reply #11 on: September 27, 2014, 07:53:58 am »
Dear Penks:

Thanks for that, and you are quite right. However, (love that word) can you? It you can jump to the end of the race, by all means do so. The challenge is very few can do it. If I respond to everyone by saying 'Just wake up'. I will be making great headway with about one in every ten thousand folks. It's ideal, but not practical. Sure, JUST WAKE UP.

Now, your turn. Are you awake? If not then my second suggestion is 'JUST WAKE UP'.

Got it? Well, have you? I am urging you to WAKE UP. Why are you not doing it? This is not a joke. I want to know exactly why you are not awake, assuming you aren't. If you are, no need to respond but you would already know that.

Love ya,. Jed.

penks1988

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Re: penks
« Reply #12 on: September 27, 2014, 02:56:01 pm »
   Hey Jed,

 No, of course I am not awake... But I don't really know why. I guess I am afraid of waking up, but that's just too broad and rigid. I tried to narrow it down using SA, contemplating on why am I not waking up and how do I know I am not awake. Couldn't get to anything, tho, but will contemplate it and inquire it tomorrow again. Sometimes I wonder if I am awake or not, which, I guess, automatically proves that I am not, since you said that I would know it if I was, and Mooji also said once that it's not really something that you can miss. xD How I know that I am not awake, is because I can still see and feel the resistance and resentment and all the other manifestations of fear in my life, which I am sure, that when they are gone it will be pretty noticeable. May be that's what Mooji meant by saying it's not really something that you can miss. :)

 So... about the 'JUST WAKE UP' part. Yes, that was obviously very exaggerated, but the point was that I feel like I'm losing the focus on the waking up and spending too much time distracting and obsessing with the by-products. I feel like I might need a gentle push in the right direction... do I? 
« Last Edit: September 27, 2014, 04:28:45 pm by penks1988 »

Jed McKenna

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Re: penks
« Reply #13 on: September 28, 2014, 12:52:29 am »
Dear P:

I wrote about this before. You are robbing a candy store because they have a ton of dough in the till (enlightenment). You go in, but are distracted by the amazing candies and start tasting them. Soon.. six months have past, you weigh 300 pounds and have forgotten your original goal. What do you want, empty calories or T/R?

Up to you, but you may want to set an intent and get clear on it, maybe not.

Love ya, Jed.

penks1988

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Re: penks
« Reply #14 on: September 29, 2014, 06:09:59 am »
 Got it.

I have a question, that I've always wanted to ask an enlightened person, and here you are, so here is the questions: :)
Since brain and neuro science is progressing really fast, I guess they have discovered that enlightenment actually physically changes the brain, and if they know what exactly happens during enlightenment in the brain, they may actually be able to develop like a medicine or like a brain surgery that gets you enlightened instantly. I wondered if you think its a good idea to try to develop something like this "enlightenment for the masses" or do you think that the waking up process is something people shouldn't mess with.
 After wondering about this a lot, I came up to the bonus content of your third book, which was a lot LSD oriented. So I wonder, did I find an answer to my question before even asking it? Is LSD really that drug I was imagining? Is this what it does?
 Would you recommend "seekers" of the truth trying it out?
« Last Edit: September 29, 2014, 07:53:46 am by penks1988 »