INVISIBLE GURU FORUM

How much coffee do you drink?

Love ya, Jed.

Excellent!

Love ya, Jed.

Hi again Jed.

I have been here couple of times, but when started to post, found nothing to ask or say. Found no way to "go further". No fear of it either. Just emptiness.

After a storm I fell in a place empty and silent. On the surface lot of things has happened. Transformation, divorce, creation, lots of work done. Never before in life have I been able to surrender to creation, to something that is in a way created through "me" in interaction. During the divorce process there were emotions, on the surface, but in the emptiness there was always silence. Staying there was easy to see what happens. All has been smooth, beautifully entertaining, no interruptions. "Have I become a cold and bad person?" I ask myself, finding no clear answer.

There appears to be a character, a strong one.
I have thought for long I have to change myself in order to achieve something. Now it seems that if I just let "me" be what it happens to be, the creation of the play is happening by itself. I haven't magically started to like myself more and didn't become a "better person" - maybe the other way round. But things go smooth, art work gets done, co-creators and audience happy for the revelations. It gives joy and satisfaction to let it through. But no longer can I take any of it seriously. I see me generating but it is not me, it is not my work, I do none of it. In the end I have no idea what it is about. The more Im able to let go of the character, unidentify somehow, the more it creates, the more it has audience, the more it gives to others. Not sure if it is falling in a trap or just enjoying life. Probably both. Does it matter?

I keep on looking in and there is eternally nothing. Deepest I can see is the breathe, breathe of air and the cellular breathing. But that is outside of the witness. I find no language to talk from the perspective of the emptiness under I. I consist of language. When the language appears, there I am.

I am a child playing and I am an adult beside her who is looking after her. Puberty behaviour occurs, adult sees and sighs. Sometimes gets annoyed.

One question: where the f*** is further?

Thank you for the finger, off with my head.

Ps.
Do you know Human Design? What is your opinion on it? (I think I already know but no assumptions.)

There are so many directions in the now and no direction takes further.

It seems that everything has happened already, the now is constantly transforming and revealing itself, unfolding.

I have so much energy to create something, so much love to share .. and a bit of frustration when the energy doesn't flow well.

About the HD, one friend living in my house gives long speeches of it. For me it seems as if it explained everything about the person I am created to be and yet it sounds total bullshit. Of who is going to design whom -- from that  angle it is like we are all designed already and all there is to do is to live the design. The thing the system writer explains in a nutshell: live your design and it makes it easy to just sit back and enjoy the dream flow - still it has nothing to do with the truth.

On the other hand it makes my alarms burning red to take in new belief systems to follow.
I don't know if it is possible to empty yourself totally from all the beliefs. But maybe it is possible to see them all and just be - breathe and eat and drink.

Who has designed? And who is there to make the decisions wether to follow the instructions or not - is the same person writing this message to you.
About who it is - that is again the question you always ask people to ask themselves. What should be answered to that? There is no answer. I am, I exist.
All the decisions seems to be made already. I look like this, I am like this, I feel like this and that, constantly changing. There is no answer to the question who.

We are never anywhere else but the now - still the mind is able to travel to other times and spaces and to change what has happened and to change what will. Nowhere else but now, with millions of directions in it.

Write one question: what is the direction in the now?

In truth, only once.... get ''it'' just once.

Love ya, Jed.

If it's going to take time for formulate a question for me... then why bother?

Love ya, Jed.

Hello again,

The dilemma is huge for the mind to handle.

Im 100% responsible of everything occurring, and still I have no power upon anything since the I I feel like being exists only in the dream and the dream is something I can never understand.
Just letting things be as they are and occur, not doing, and everything will just happen as it should - enjoying the show. This I clearly see and feel in the cellular level, without understanding it can be known.

But; there is this thing with money.

Everything goes well - having always enough everything (shelter, clothes, beautiful home, enough entertainment) but I end up being in trouble with money. It is something that should be taken care of - it requires me to do things here. There is no program in my mind to handle it. The money doesn't appear here but everybody appears to want it from me.

Coming to very practical question: how to handle money here without actually **** stuff up? Are you able to point at that trouble in this being?

I was about to come up with a question of Zelda: Breathe of Wild. Had hard times with the Divine beast Vah Ruta but that I already solved. This appears more difficult.

I have studied this for a while.

Paying attention to the topic of being Worthy/Unworthy. Surprisingly got lost and came to a realization that everything is me. Paying attention to everything I am, everyone around. Worthy/Unworthy are not true. Paying attention solves the trouble - there was no trouble to begin with.

Suddenly the world appears gentle and benign, my behaviour has smoothened.

Maybe learning to respect all that is with equal value leads to more pleasant places than to think how to make money.

Also is the thing that some people just make themselves miserable and victims. Now the beast is capitalism. Greediness is another way of expressing feeling unworthy.

I've spent my life investigating body-mind-connection, working with emotions, reading poetry and dancing etc - activities not so valuable in money making. Or yes, if you are skilled in the business world. The whole "market yourself" thingie makes me nauseous. Is that a symptom of unworthiness or is the system just **** up?

I have also thought that my time here is more valuable than spending time for money in places I don't want to be at. Seeing through the storyline, my "personal history" consists of not so virtuous activities and .. yes, there is **** loads of unworthiness.

Letting that burn sweet and slow under observation.

Things seem clear and then I start to write it out and come to see that the trouble starts to create itself when the thought is unleashed! Keeping it below 200.

Arrived to Malaysia today. Atmosphere: delightful!

Talk later again, enjoy your days Jed!