INVISIBLE GURU FORUM

Sorry for the mess, when I started looking into this stuff again Maya had a pretty intense kickback...lots of fear came up. I can see it more clearly now though as noise that's not me arising. I don't really trust these thoughts and emotions as good places to make decisions haha.

I would like your help in clarifying practical actions towards H/A. You said it's as simple (not necessarily easy) as seeing through the falsity of what arises, then letting go and forgiving it, as well as that I don't need to destroy anything. Would I use S/A to do this then? I ask because S/A destroys everything in my experience of using it, so if it's the tool for this how would I use it for H/A purposes?

A better dream.

By better dream I meant H/A. So for H/A it's a lack of a process or understanding of how to see through the falsity.

Right now I'm aware of how spontaneously I create stories around the events that happen. I'm also getting frequent glimpses into seeing thoughts that are not controlled by me nor are me floating through consciousness. I can watch myself create meaning as a story to attach to but when I look at it closely it dissipates. I don't know where I go from here in order to move towards H /A.

Ok. So I just continue doing S/A then? (I got most of those insights from S/A last year and haven't done it since then. The stories insight I got only from observing over the last week)

You were right. Patience is what I needed to do. Haha honestly I didn't even have a choice. This seems so silly how much control I don't have. The process seems to be taking care of itself when I look at the bigger picture. The past year, everything I tried to do falling apart was just me seeing what's I can't do anymore. I want to say I can relax and let go. I don't know what else I can do. I don't even want to go forward but it's becoming more and more clear that I don't have much of a choice on what to do here. Brutal Self honesty with myself and actions seem key here. I always knew that on some level, the only thing for me to do is to keep cutting away. What else can I do? Building just collapses and doesn't work anymore. I feel incapable of believing in it or taking any of it seriously. I had to get this out of my system, thank you.